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El Pasco Texas: ISW Burger King of the Ring Results or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate CT a Little Less.

by on July 26, 2011

Call it a cliché, but I hate Mondays. I guess I’m more like Garfield the Cat and the Boomtown Rats then I realized. I hated waking up in High School, I hated waking up in college, and now I hate waking up for work. Quite frankly, Mondays are The Rocky V of the days of the week (annoying, disappointing, and full of Sage Stallone’s shitty acting. Oh crap, I just realized that there are six Rocky Movies. I want there to be seven so I can assign each one a day of the week. Rocky IV is Friday, duh). Mondays are even worse is when it comes off the high of a weekend like the one I just spent.

Every Monday after an eventful weekend is spent longing to just go back in time and relive those moments over and over again. I’ve been blessed enough to have so many of those Mondays so far in 2011. In 2011, I traveled to Chikara King of Trios for the greatest wrestling show I’ve ever seen live. In 2011, I saw one of my favorite bands (Manowar) come to America after 5 years and blow my eardrums into next week. In 2011, I celebrated my last weekend as a college student by closing down a bar singing O-town “All or Nothing” (with about thirty of my friends) at the top of my lungs. Basically, I’ve seen some really fun stuff over the past seven months, and I can proudly count ISW as another notch in the win column.

It’s worth mentioning, that I fucking hate Connecticut. I think my hate for it stemmed from the fact that I couldn’t spell it correctly until I was 17 years old. (My dad used to be a stickler for teaching me my spelling words every week and making sure I got it right. It didn’t help me when I was fourth place in the 5th Grade Carver Elementary School Spelling Bee. I got the word assets wrong….or is it assets…..FUCK). I’ve hated CT even more since I was stuck in CT traffic and tried to piss in a bottle. Naturally, I ended up pissing all over my hand with no rest area in site. Oh, and I was on a way to a funeral the entire time this happened. CT is the Lance Bass of New England, uninteresting and it sucks on man parts.( Spoiler Alert: I still hate CT, except for the two seconds that we passed a bikini girl car wash on the way there.)

To help matters, I made the mistake of getting trashed the Friday Night before the show and eating the worst Steak and Cheese I’ve ever eaten. Who would have thought buying a barely wrapped microwaveable Steak and Cheese from a 24 hr 7/11 would end badly? The middle wasn’t cooked which I neglected to notice until I had already swallowed it. Already, this show had two strikes against it before I even got in the car. As I wandered around my house Saturday morning tired and miserable, I just didn’t want to go. I wanted to crawl back into bed and just sleep until Monday morning. I wanted to just say fuck it, but I had made promises and I had friends I had to see. I don’t get to see all of my Misfit ground of wrestling friends, so I got to take the opportunities when I can grab in. So, as I always do in times of doubt in my life, I turned to The Vest.

I walked into my closet and grabbed the good luck charm in all its denim glory. As I threw it on, I reached in the pocket and found The American Flag Bandana I had been missing since June. What manner of wizardry was this? Clearly this was a sign from God (or Tom Brandi) (or Del Wilkes selling the sign to Tom Brandi) that shit was going to get real.

It did.

Three hours and one legitimate near death experience later (Car in front of us slammed on the breaks, which led to us slamming on brakes, which led to us drifting into the right lane, which led to us almost getting nailed. We barely made it without a scratch and my life totally flashed before my eyes. I was so handsome when I was seven years old) we arrived in Danbury, CT. We arrived just in time to be informed that the venue was the hottest thing on the planet. This was straight Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas shit. It was a total nuclear furnace inside the Heirloom Arts Arena and the general consensus from everyone was “Fuck, this is really hot”. I skipped Beyond Wrestling and hung around with my friends and helped record a special taped live show from outside the venue. (Cheap plug time for The Programme with Matt Ryan and Ben Gordon at ISW Live show featuring Sugar Dunkerton, Pinkie Sanchez, Dan Barry, Rob Naylor, and Mike Rotch. The show also features Ben Pasco bombing in front of a crowd of people. Coming soon to CSTCNetwork.com.)

For those unaware, ISW has also taken a proactive stance against cancer after the loss of their friend Phrank Morin (better known as Stinky the Homeless Guy). In order to help do this, they solicited funds and shaved their heads in the name of cancer research. I’m not going to lie when I say it didn’t get kind of emotional every time Phrank was brought up. It’s hard to not get bummed out when you realized how young the guy was when he passed. For all the shit ISW sometimes get, warranted or not, it’s completely commendable to see their fundraising. Several people ended up shaving their heads in the name of research and I do believe they raised a substantial amount of donations. The head shavings took place outside the venue and people talked about Phrank and what it meant to them, as well as other loved ones they had lost to cancer. It’s hard pressed to argue against such a good cause and so I do urge people to help anyway they can. (More information of upcoming events can be found at http://c4wrestling.com/fightingback/)

Now, onto the actual wrestling element of the show which is what you all came to read this report for. I could talk about all the other states in New England I hate (Maine and Vermont) all day, but let’s get straight to the grappling. Here are the quick Results for the Show

Burger King of the Ring First Round: Pinkie Sanchez def Player Uno

Burger King of the Ring First Round: Izzie Deadyet def. Lloyd Cthuluwitz

Burger King of the Ring First Round: El Hijo Del Bamboo def Bastian Snow

Burger King of the Ring First Round: Frankie Arion def Dan Barry

Twiggy def Eddie Kingston

Burger King of the Ring Second Round: El Hijo del Bamboo def Izzie Deadyet

Burger King of the Ring Second Round: Frankie Arion def. Pinkie Sanchez

Sweet n’ Sour Memorial Six Man: F.I.S.T and Jolly Roger def. 2.0 and Hallowicked (Gran Akuma wore his mask and Icarus worked old-school babyface Icarus style)

Burger King of the Ring Final: El Hijo Del Bamboo def. Frankie Arion

Fans Bring the Lego Deathmatch: Shitty def. Addy Star

I missed chunks of some of the matches because the heat was trying to smother me like its name was Casey Anthony. So, instead of commenting on stuff I didn’t see I’ll just emphasize the six main points that came across to me after seeing the show. There wasn’t a bad match on the card, but I didn’t see all of every match and so I figured I’d just write about the main things I thought.

6. El Hijo del Bamboo is actually pretty awesome. I’m not going to lie and act like I thought it would be some transcendent gimmick that would be over. I thought it would be a one-note gag, and it would be cutesy and he’d do a bear hug or something and that would be that. Most people are under the impression that it’s stupid, and before seeing it I kind of thought so too. However, when people explain Bamboo they don’t really explain the best part of his gimmick. El Hijo Del Bamboo is that he will do all that cutesy stuff, and then do a Tope Con Hilo while wearing that giant suit. We’re not talking a Dragon Dragon situation here where the guy can’t compete or do anything in the match; El Hijo will randomly bust out something completely unexpected and flippy out of nowhere. Also, props to the man under the suit for surviving the evening in the outfit he was wearing. As one person put it to me, “he’s basically wearing a comforter right now”. The building was at least 98 degrees (Nick Lachey) and the dude worked three matches. Straight respect.

5. Pinkie Sanchez is the most underrated guy on the Indies. I don’t like to use superlatives when talking about wrestling, but I can’t think of a guy who works in as many places as Pinkie while being as consistently entertaining. Pinkie was working this bizarre coked-out Great Muta kind of deal and somehow made it completely work. You should all re-read my last sentence to understand what exactly was happening. He busted his ass and had some great matches, and I am super stoked for his chances in Evolve and Dragon Gate USA.

4. Frank Arion needs to get booked more places. Frankie is a guy who was really only known in the New England Indy circles until recently and it’s great to see him starting to make waves in places. (I should explain that, New England Indies seem to exist in their own universe with only a handful of guys like Mike Bennet, Eddie Edwards, or Tommasso Ciampia making it to the more noteworthy independent federations. For whatever reason, not a lot of guys break out to the other feds). He got a shot in Chikara a year ago which I hoped would help out, but it didn’t seem like it panned out. Arion has been wrestling for nearly a decade and the dude is a goddamn machine. I thought he totally killed it in all his matches on Friday Night. He had three great matches with Dan Barry (who is also totally awesome), Pinkie, and Bamboo. I urge anybody from Gabe Sapolsky to DJ Hyde to Danno to Book him. (The Danno reference was a Magnum P.I. joke. I am secretly a forty-year old man.). Frankie Arion is the truth.

3. Eddie Kingston and Twiggy was un-fucking-real. I always wanted to see this match and it did not fail to disappoint at all. It was completely what you would expect and I loved every minute of it. I’ve always been the biggest fan of little guys vs. big monster matches and this was perfect. To me, this was Little Sting vs. Foul Mouthed Vader with plenty of brawling on the outside and awesome King vs. fans moments. Eddie was King Heel in this match and he beat the piss out of Twiggy. On the other hand, Twiggy was just as awesome in this match as King and together they wrote some sort of brutal masterpiece. Twiggy is awesome and it baffles me why he isn’t booked in America more often. He’s a little guy who can brawl and is just absolutely adored by the crowd. I love Twiggy. I also love stick.

2. Lego Deathmatch.

I don’t even to know where to start with this one. The concept of the match is so completely brutal, and yet sickly entertaining that it’s hard to not get involved in it live. It’s easy to call it stupid, until you realize how much legos suck to step on. Major props for the added touch of the referee wearing CZW Ultraviolent Ref gear. Addy and Shitty tore it up in the main event and killed it I may be a complete pussy (who am I kidding when I say may be), but this was the most brutal thing I’ve ever watched in wrestling. Watching every spot was like going through the five stages of grief on a constant basis.

Denial: “He’s not going to curb stomp her onto the legos. She’s totally going to escape”

Anger “Don’t do that. That’s not fucking cool…just leave her alone man”

Bargaining “Please don’t kill Addy Star. It’s not too late to reverse it”

Depression “I can’t believe Shitty just curb stomped Addy Star into the pile of legos. How could someone do that?”

Acceptance “ That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen”

Addy Star and Shitty went to fucking war, and they didn’t need to awkwardly walk around and blade each other to make it crazy Choose Legos.

1. At the end of the day, ISW is not for everyone, but it is for me. There are people with opinions that I completely respect, who hate ISW. I like them, they like me, I like ISW, they hate it and we’re all completely fine with it. They don’t really enjoy it, and I will never disagree with them or their opinion. ISW is not for everyone, and if people don’t want to like it then that’s fine. I don’t really care if they bury it or love it, because it’s their choice. I can completely see why people wouldn’t like it, so let them dislike it and everything will just be kosher.

That being said, I really dug going to ISW and I had a lot of fun being there. Make no mistake about it; ISW is in the category of being better when it’s live. The atmosphere is really strange and not like any wrestling show I’ve ever been a part of. I’m the kind of guy who hates wrestling crowds constantly, but for some reason the overwhelming about of drunken idiots in this crowd didn’t face me. I don’t know if it was because I had the ability to walk to a balcony to avoid them, or if it was because I was trying to not pass out from the heat, or even simple fact I was having fun, but for some reason it didn’t faze me. I’m not going to bullshit you and refer to this as the greatest show of all time and say you’re a hater if you don’t like ISW. All I can do is speak for myself when I say, “I drove three hours to CT and almost died on the way there. I sat outside in 90 degree heat for four hours doing a podcast. I then sat inside for four hours in even hotter conditions with a room full of people watching pro wrestling. Despite all that, I had tons of fucking fun and wouldn’t have made a different decision”.

I had fun and that’s all I’ve ever really asked for

-AWWMAN

Ben Pasco

#supportprowres

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