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by on July 19, 2011

I wish my high school gymnasium looked this cool on wrestling television shows…

Vladimir Koloff apparently ditched the territory already since Jim Cornette and Bob Caudle hyped an announcement from Ivan Koloff regarding a new tag team partner during the opening of the show.

“Hollywood” BOB HOLLY vs PAT ROSE
-Rose, a longtime journeyman enhancement wrestler, is VERY impressed by his own name.

-I forgot to mention this during Holly’s SMW debut match, but his entrance music was “Fame” by David Bowie, which easily makes this the coolest Bob Holly persona ever.
-On commentary, they were claiming that Bob Holly was planning to go to every Southern state and win their statewide bodybuilding competitions. Bob Holly was in very good shape, but c’mon.
-Rose sold an inverted atomic drop like a low blow instead of a shot to the tailbone, which isn’t uncommon, but drives me nuts. If a guy kicks you in the nards, it’s an automatic disqualification. Good job burying the referees, guys who do that.
-I understand that Smoky Mountain had a small roster when they first started, but it’s bizarre to see a guy who they were obviously wanting to be their top young heel star have to go six even minutes with a guy who had never won a match on national television.
-Holly won with his really awesome top rope kneedrop. I can see why Jim Cornette and/or Tim Horner (who, for all intents and purposes, was either helping book or booking the entire SMW product at the launch) saw something in Holly; he had Stan Lane’s look with the potential to someday work like Bobby Eaton. Best of both worlds!

Bob Caudle interviews Jackie Fulton, Bobby Fulton and Tim Horner in a localized event promo segment. It doesn’t get more pro wrestling than the outfits these guys are wearing.

Bobby Fulton then cuts a promo by himself, pretty much saying “We’re going to beat you up, Russian!” but with a lot of hand movement.

Ivan Koloff comes out to introduce his new tag team partner: JIMMY FREAKING GOLDEN.

Golden claims that Vladimir went back to Russia to make sure they “do the Cold War again, but this time do it right”.  I wonder what young Jack Swagger was thinking, seeing his All-American American father on television with such an evil anti-patriot.

-This is five-year-old Tom’s dream match. This is a battle of two of my all-time favorite WCW television enhancement wrestlers.
-Speaking of enhancement talent, neither guy got an entrance or music.
-Rogers decides to wrestle this match with his entrance vest on, which is what makes him Rip Rogers.
-The crowd went absolutely NUTS for Rip doing a top rope axe handle to the outside, Randy Savage-style.
-Rip Rogers did the spot where he lifted his opponent for a bodyslam, but the guy’s too heavy and he falls into a pin. Joey Maggs, billed at under 230 pounds, might be the lightest guy to ever unironically have this done to him.
-Rogers wins clean with “The Ripperplex” (second rope superplex) in a fun little five-minute match.


-Announced as from “Up North”, this is THE MIGHTY YANKEE.
-The Mighty Yankee is a big fan of elbow strikes, but he tried one too many and Gibson avoided one to win with a bulldog in a short match.

Jim Cornette cut a promo, once again hyping up his mystery team that was going to come in and become the first Smoky Mountain Wrestling Tag Team Champions. It was no better or worse than any other Jim Cornette promo ever.

I wonder what information people wrote in to inquire about.

They played the finish to last week’s Scott Armstrong/Dutch Mantell match before going to a promo with Ron Wright and Dutch Mantell. Dutch asks Wright to sit in his corner for today’s main event against Brian Lee and Wright responded by “crying”. It was pretty awesome.

-How Tim Horner could have his entrance music cued to the chorus in 1992, yet ninety percent of independent wrestlers in 2011 make fans sit through two minutes of awful music before their entrances blows my mind.
-Horowitz busted out a headbutt to the mid-section that a drunk old man would later steal in the episode of Freaks and Geeks when the Weirs’ parents went away and Lindsay threw a party.
-Horowitz took this flying seated bump for a shoulderblock that was so preposterous and fake-looking that I came back around and loved it.
-Horner wins after Horowitz blocks an O’Connor Roll, but Horner rolls up and comes back to score another one for the pin.

Horner cuts a promo after the match that literally consisted of the following sentence: “I appreciate you all coming out; thank you”. For real.

“Nature Boy” Buddy Landell should’ve had the nickname stripped of him for showing up on a wrestling show wearing that tanktop.

Landell’s promo was ridiculous in the best way possible. He screams and yells about not kissing any promoter’s can and buries Dusty Rhodes six feet under without saying his name. This was the best ECW promo ever.

Ron Wright doesn’t come out to ringside at first, but slowly wheels his way out, looking like any goofy senior citizen in the best way possible.

-Dutch Mantell did absolutely NOTHING during this match, but did it with style.
-Mantell wins via disqualification when Ron Wright hands him brass knuckles, but Lee takes the knucks and blasts Dutch with them.

Ron Wright is interviewed in a localized promo segment and once again steals the show as this wonderful, fake senile man. Jim Cornette then cuts a promo for Bob Holly, who stumbled something out about going on a date with Julia Roberts that night.

We finish the show with a promo from Brian Lee about wanting to hurt Dutch Mantell for continually messing with his career. Lee kind of looks like Heath Slater wearing a Joe Dirt wig.

That’s it for this week. Horowitz and Rogers continue to be the best guys on this show, but unfortunately they don’t stick around. I really cannot wait to see what Buddy Landell does in the upcoming weeks as well, as he showed a TON of fire and passion in his first promo. Oh, and Ron Wright is my favorite person alive.


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