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’94 WWF BLOGJECT: 7/23/94

by on July 18, 2011

We open this week’s show with Shawn Michaels and Diesel (to whom Shawn himself referred to as the “Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings of the WWF”) announcing that Ted DiBiase will be on the Heartbreak Hotel this week. I’ve said this before, but did they honestly think people would believe that this looked like they were live at the set?

Jim Ross announced during the opening that Leslie Nielsen starts his chase to the real Undertaker on this week’s show, which should be lovely.

“Double J” JEFF JARRETT vs 1-2-3 KID
-It was interesting to see Jarrett work with the Kid like they were equal-sized, considering there were absolutely guys in the WWF who were around the Kid’s size who wrestled “big man versus little guy” matches with the Kid for a long time.
– The canned noise was brought in to a ridiculous degree during Kid’s comeback. There was not one person stirring, yet if you closed your eyes, you’d think Jarrett was wrestling Hulk Hogan.
-The match ended via double countout when they both brawled around ringside.  Howard Finkel, being the wonderful man he is, announced it as “The referee has counted out JEFF JARRETT…andthe123kid.”
-After the match, Jarrett gives the Kid two piledrivers and a stomp off of the second rope. All things considered, it was a disappointing match. It wasn’t bad, but I was honestly expecting one of those hidden gems you get out of two good wrestlers on random mid-90’s WWF television shows.

After Jeff Jarrett berates the Kid for being “yellow” since he couldn’t come back to fight him after the post-match beatdown, Jim Ross pitches to Live Event News. In this clip, the Headshrinkers were doing their imitation of dorks who go to airports at 4 AM to try and get their pictures taken with WWE superstars with their replica belts.

They absolutely spoiled the ending of the Undertaker storyline in the Summerslam commercial they aired after Live Event News.

JIM “The Anvil” NEIDHART (w/Owen Hart) vs RICH MYERS
-Some kid went nuts when he heard “The Anvil”‘s music, then was very sad when Jim Neidhart came out instead of Bret.

-Poor Rich Myers got dumped over the top rope on a hotshot Headshrinkers/Steiners Wrestlemania 9-style.
-Jim Ross announces that Bob Backlund will face Bret Hart next week for the WWF Title and I CANNOT WAIT. Seriously, that was one of my most vivid memories from my childhood, as sad as it sounds.
-Neidhart wins with the camel clutch, then reapplies it after the match so that Owen can FLICK THE GLASSES IN HIS FACE. Such a jerk move; I love it.

They then play an AMAZING Bob Backlund music video set to some funky 90’s workout music as Bob prepares for his title shot in what appears to be a preschool.

Leslie Nielsen shows up in an Undertaker hat to solve the Undertaker case, but Ted DiBiase turns off the lights on him.

I believe this week’s guest ring announcer is my father. In a hilarious note (which Jerry Lawler pointed out), he announced the enhancement guy with more emphasis than the star.

TATANKA vs AUSTIN STEELE
-It’s like Buddy Landell’s uncle is wrestling Tatanka.

-This guy is trying to take all of the signature Flair bumps and failing miserably. It’s kind of hilarious.
-Tatanka wins with the Samoan Drop (which Jim Ross called a “fallaway slam”).

They aired a New Generation commercial where they insinuated that, if you don’r watch Monday Night Raw, the mob will murder you.

Ted DiBiase pops up on the Heartbreak Hotel and tries to bring out Lex Luger as the newest member of the Million Dollar Corporation, referencing how “doubting Thomases” (which would’ve been my ring name if I ever got trained to wrestle) doubted him when he said he’d buy the WWF Title or when he said he’d bring the Undertaker back. Tatanka comes out as soon as Luger comes out of the curtain to cut a promo on him, then DiBiase responds as Luger just stands there. INTRIGUE, folks. Well, Luger ended up talking and said he wasn’t with the Corporation, but was mad at Tatanka for saying he could beat Luger if he was with DiBiase.

We go to the Summerslam Report. I think this jacket might be more hideous than Todd’s King of the Ring shirt.

Pettengill announced Diesel against Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Title and then pitched to a Razor promo. Razor went around preaching for his “machismo” while wearing this vest?

BAM BAM BIGELOW (w/Ted DiBiase) vs OL’ TYRONE
-That’s what Jim Ross called the guy and he didn’t get a name graphic.
-Yeah, Bigelow didn’t take long to hurt this guy, forearming him right in the nose off of an Irish whip in the second spot of the match.
-Bigelow wins the match with his awesome Million Dollar Dream bulldog in a very short match.

They close the show by promoting the Backlund/Bret match. This week was sadly unspectacular, but man alive! I am looking forward to next week’s show big-time. I can’t wait!

-TOM. 

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