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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 7/16/94

by on July 14, 2011

“Stunning” STEVE AUSTIN vs JOHNNY RICH
-I don’t know if it was just my copy or what, but the show immediately started with Austin’s entrance.
-Lovely jacket, Johnny.

-Austin busted out an insanely smooth collar-and-elbow into a drop toe hold. So simple, but I don’t know how many times Iv’e actually seen someone actually do that.
-He obviously respects Rich since he’s letting Rich look like his equal on the mat as they traded holds.
-The commentators announce during the match that Sting was injured when Sherri (dressed as a guy) ran through the crowd last week and raked his eyes.
-Austin wins with the Hollywood & Vine (standing figure four leglock) after hitting a shinbreaker where Rich took this amazing, exaggerated “TIIIIIIMBER!” bump.

Austin is standing by with Gene Okerlund, as he does some karate to mock Ricky Steamboat.

The canned heat during this promo, which was BLATANTLY shot in front of a green screen, was absurd.

 BUNKHOUSE BUCK & TERRY FUNK (w/ Col. Robert Parker & Meng) vs TODD MORTON & BARRY HOUSTON
-Tony Schiavone tried a Colonel Parker impression on commentary. It was not fun to hear.
-It blows my mind that Todd Morton was allowed on WCW television with the blonde mullet, long tights and tassels.
-I would rather let ninety percent of all men hit me in a real fight than let Terry Funk slap me in a fake fight.
-Hilarious visual where Terry Funk walked out of the ring to goat Houston into being jumped by Bunkhouse Bunk on the floor. Houston has this ridiculous, animated look on his face as Funk’s just casually walking off.

-Funk follows by POWERBOMBING Houston on THE FLOOR. Houston was thrown into the ring just to take a ridiculous bump while being thrown right back out of the ring.
-Bunkhouse Buck threw a tremendous stomp.
-There was another great spot where Morton had tagged in and armbarred Buck, then Buck tagged out to Funk, so Morton tried to let go of the armbar and Buck held onto him.
-Houston pretty much just did a Homicide-style tope through the ropes onto no one when Buck dodged him in the ring.
-Funk wins with a trio of disgusting-looking piledrivers. Poor Barry Houston might have taken one of the worst beatings a guy had ever taken in a match where the finish was pre-determined.

The Stud Stable cuts a promo by the “interview area” with Gene Okerlund. They blatantly expose the taped nature of the promo, as Terry Funk is visibly wearing jeans. Bunkhouse Buck says my new favorite promo line ever: “Satisfaction comes in a chain reaction!”. Terry Funk asks Arn Anderson hypothetically if he’d looked at Dustin Rhodes “genetically” and then made a pig nose and possum eyes.

We go to the Bash at the Beach Control Center. The only thing of note is that Shaquille O’Neal cut a promo with Hulk Hogan from his home. I understand that Shaq was a legitimate celebrity at the time who was supposed to get WCW some mainstream buzz, but having this legitimate celebrity make one of your guys look a dwarf…I don’t know.

“The Natural” DUSTIN RHODES & ARN ANDERSON vs Sgt. BUDDY LEE PARKER & THE GAMBLER
– I normally mock WCW for their planted signs, but this is really adorable.

-It’s odd to hear the commentators speak of how many arms Arn Anderson had broken in his career in a positive light.
-The more I see of The Gambler, the more it blows my mind that he didn’t get some sort of shot in the mid-90’s when the cheesy gimmicks were to the max and all you needed was a clue to get a contract. Heck, he was in Memphis for a long time; it hurts my brain that even the WWF didn’t give him a shot when Jim Cornette was bringing in everyone to do the cheesy enhancement wrestler gimmicks. He wrestled well, he sold well, he could get heat and he made an insanely lame-on-paper gimmick (a card player) seem like it was natural and not just a whackjob in a costume.
-Anderson pinned Parker with the spinebuster in a decent little match.

Dustin Rhodes and Arn Anderson are over with Gene Okerlund. Dustin goes on for over a minute, then Arn chimes in with, “the time for talk is over; let’s get with it” very quietly. Arn intimidated me FAR more.

Clips of the Flair/Sting match from the Clash were played before the next match.

JEAN-PAUL LEVESQUE vs DAVEY RICH
-It is WEIRD how, if he shaves, Triple H has not aged nearly as much as you’d think a guy who’s been in the stress pit that is WWE for sixteen years.

-Schiavone actually bothered explaining that “Terra Ryzing” was Jean-Paul’s streetfighting name, but now he wants to go by under his “real name”.
-Heenan told the JOKE OF ALL JOKES. I’m crying with laughter.
Heenan: “What’s ‘yes’ in French?”
Schiavone: “Oui.”
Heenan: “Say ‘oui’ twice really fast.”
Schiavone: “Oui oui!”
Heenan: “Raise your hand first!”
-I’m pretty sure Levesque kicked Rich in the face for real on a baseball slide. It looked gross.
-It’s BEYOND weird to hear Heenan referencing not only WWF storylines, but putting over the WWF’s big houses (he was talking about Andre versus Hogan at Wrestlemania III and bombastically stated multiple times that they put 93,000 people in the Pontiac Silverdome).
-The first time Rich took the Rikishi/Jannetty 360-degree bump off of a clothesline, it was awesome. The seventh time, I was bored.
-Levesque wins with the inverted Indian Deathlock. He then cuts this short promo into the camera in his RIDICULOUS fake French accent.

After a replay of the Hulk Hogan music video from last week, we get a promo with Hogan and Mr. T. Have you heard a Hogan promo before? If so, you’ve heard this one.

 GUARDIAN ANGEL vs DENNY BROWN
-Denny Brown throws a fantastic punch.
-The Angel is doing this ridiculous thing in his squash matches, I guess, where the enhancement guy will do one thing to make him mad and he gets punched. He makes Angel mad again and he gets bumped around. He makes the Angel made three times and he gets the Bossman Slam. The Angel won via that move, by the way.

The Angel cut a promo after the match, dedicating his match with Vader the next night to the dead Guardian Angels of the world. They followed this with a replay of almost the entire Sting/Flair match from last week’s episode.

VADER (w/Harley Race) vs  MIKE McREYNOLDS
-McReynolds’ jacket is 1994.

-I believe McReynolds got destroyed by Vader a few weeks ago and it was spectacular. I have high hopes.
-After taking a short-arm clothesline where Vader held onto McReynolds’ arm to ensure he bumped wrong, he gave the poor guy the fallaway slam from HELL.

-Vader was disqualified for throwing McReynolds over the top rope (despite doing the exact same gorilla press slam in their first match and not getting disqualified), then just kept on with his match like the bell wasn’t ringing. It was amusing. Vader left the ring after hitting a wheelbarrow face slam.

Vader cuts a promo after the match about how the Angel wears a “sissy red coat” and a “sissy little hat”. More guys need to use the word “sissy” these days.

WCW Tag Team Champions CACTUS JACK & KEVIN SULLIVAN vs BAD ATTITUDE (Steve Keirn & Bobby Eaton)
Like last week, Bobby Eaton apparently decided that, to make up for his sadness in being shoved way down the card, he’s going to just bump a lot and bump as big as he can.
-Keirn was talented at stooging and being wacky, but he looked approximately 600 years old by this point, with the wrinkly face and George Washington hair.
-Credit to Steve Keirn for taking the elbow drop off of the apron from Cactus Jack. I could see him as being the type of wrestler that would completely refuse to take it.
-Interesting finish, as Sullivan pinned Eaton as Jack held down Eaton’s leg. I guess it showed they’re willing to cheat to keep the belts, but it was just odd for a babyface tag team in this era to do. The match seemed like it went FOREVER, but it wasn’t bad. It really was the best Bad Attitude match I’ve seen on these shows, as both guys really busted their rear ends to make Jack and Sullivan look great and they seemed to click as an actual team (as opposed to two random guys in similar tights).

We close the show with a Ric Flair promo. My copy cut out in the middle of the promo, but it was a LOT of shouting. Sensuous Sherri looked over-the-top ridiculous in the WWF when they had seamstresses and lots of sequins, but in WCW, she just looked like she dressed in the dark.

Not a bad go-home show for the pay-per-view the next night; it was certainly more entertaining than a couple of short matches and long recaps of every feud like they had been doing. I really wish WCW, for fun, would’ve lined up twenty enhancement guys and had Vader and Terry Funk go through them like a home run derby, but hey…wishful thinking.

-TOM. 

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