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’94 WWF BLOGJECT: 7/2/94

by on July 5, 2011

The show opens with, for maybe the first time in World Wrestling Federation history, Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler opening the show.

 They discussed Jim Neidhart joining Owen Hart’s side in the Bret/Owen feud. I honestly feel a little bad for Neidhart; it’s like being the king’s next-in-line, then finding out that you’re now the prince’s next-in-line.

DOINK (w/Dink) vs IRWIN R. SCHYSTER
-Jim Ross trying to sell ridiculous WWF history, such as Santa giving Dink as a gift to Doink, and then going into his “real sports! real athletes!” deal is a little absurd.
– Irwin R. Schyster in 1994 had to have been one of the laziest wrestlers in the world. It’s noticeable how hard he’s not trying, with the excessive chinlocks, breaks between action and lack of bumping he even tries during the comeback.
-A taxman chasing a dwarf clown with a briefcase is pro wrestling.

-IRS wins with a small package out of nowhere. RIDICULOUSLY lazy match.
-After the match, Dink (after having gone under the ring with Schyster’s briefcase) gives it back to IRS, who opens it and IT EXPLODES. I’m serious.

 We go to Live Event News, where they promote the Owen/Bret Ironman matches with THIS visual:

1-2-3 KID vs RENO RIGGINS
-Jim Ross is promoting the famed Kid/Bret match upcoming at Raw during the entrance.
-They really did a great job picking out enhancement guys for the Kid. He always got guys his size or smaller who bumped really well for him (which is harder to find for a 180-pound dude in 1994).
– Jim Ross said the kids love the Kid since he’s “so close to their age”. Did Jim Ross think the 1-2-3 Kid was a really tall fourth grader?
-The Kid wins with a superplex. I honestly think that, since the Kid’s “finisher” was any variation of a roll-up, he decided to just do any cool move he could think of as a finisher in the syndicated squash matches, between this and the sugar hold last week.

We go back to Monday Night Raw, where Jerry Lawler hit Duke “The Dumpster” Drose with a trash can, followed by promos with Drose and Lawler. Lawler’s was in the form of a forced public apology, where the voice of one Shane McMahon could be heard, reminding Lawler that he was being forced by the WWF to apologize. On the production front, the WWF in the late-80’s/early-90’s had such neat chroma-wall logo-based backgrounds for their wrestlers’ promos. Now, they had this:

THE HEAVENLY BODIES (Dr. Tom Pritchard and Jimmy Del Rey, w/Jim Cornette) vs DEREC DOMINO & RICH MEYERS
-Cornette’s suit is especially colorful this week:

 -Meyers took a VICIOUS elbow from Del Rey to the mouth, then got pinned with a falling elbow drop from the top rope from Pritchard. Too quick to be much of anything.

BAM BAM BIGELOW (w/Ted DiBiase) vs MIKE MARALADO
-Ted DiBiase bought Bigelow’s contract out and then made him dump his “main squeeze” Luna sometime between last week and this week’s episodes.
-Maralado took an AWESOME bump for Bigelow shoving him down…

 -Bigelow finishes the match quickly with a really neat Million Dollar Dream/bulldog combo move.

We go to the Heartbreak Hotel with Shawn Michaels interviewing Paul Bearer. Nothing much to it, other than Shawn making fun of Bearer for being ugly and Bearer claiming he’s gotten back into contact with The Undertaker. Like the earlier visual of a taxman chasing a dwarf clown, this picture is pro wrestling:

THE SMOKING GUNNS (Billy & Bart) vs THE EXECUTIONERS (Pain & Agony)
-Their names were PAIN AND AGONY.

 -Lawler on the guest ring announcer: “She couldn’t get a hickey from a leech!”

-I’m assuming the Executioners were Barry Hardy and Duane Gill. Either way, it’s weird to see enhancement guys not only get wacky costumes, but use offense like flying headscissors and such.
-The Gunns won with a powerbomb/elbow drop double-team move. Not a bad match; the Executioners did a great job bumping and selling for the Gunns.

JIM “The Anvil” NEIDHART (w/Owen Hart) vs TODD MATA
-They seriously made Owen wear this costume around for a taping or two:

-Todd Mata is kind of incredible. The fellow has tremendous hair.

-Neidhart is far more interesting hitting enhancement guys in irresponsible places as hard as he can than he ever was otherwise.
-Neidhart won with the DRAGON CLUTCH. For real.

 After a Live Event News replay, the commentators hype a Women’s Title match with Luna against Alundra Blayze and Tatanka against Ted DiBiase’s Undertaker for next week. Poor women; they can’t even be the main event on a show with one competitive match per week.

-TOM. 

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One Comment
  1. The Executioners (90’s) in the WWF were Duane Gill and Barry Hardy. – some website, haha.

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