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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 7/2/94

by on June 30, 2011

TONIGHT! THE NASTY BOYS FACE CACTUS JACK AND KEVIN SULLIVAN! FLYIN’ BRIAN, STEVE AUSTIN AND JOHNNY B. BADD EXHIBIT THEIR WRESTLING EXPERTISE! (that’s really how the voiceover announcer said it)

We start with the three-announcer standup opening, talking about the Flair/Hogan signing from the previous week. It is only two weeks from this airing (which is way shorter of a build-up for Hogan’s WCW debut than I remembered). After a replay of the entire contract signing angle from the previous week, we go to the ring…

BRIAN PILLMAN vs HAITO
-This should be darned good.
-Before the bell rings, Tony Schiavone hypes INTERACTIVE WRESTLING!

-No, it’s not a Lacey Von Erich tape from LadyWrestlingDivasFakeMoaning.org/EffinCreepy. They’re going to throw all of the heels in one room and the faces in the other with fans voting for one guy from each room and the winners face off. MISTER T is also going to be on Saturday Night next week. Hopefully in INTERACTIVE WRESTLING, but I doubt it.
-Yeah, these two guys are ridiculously smooth together. There was a spot where Pillman did a rolling somersault under a leapfrog from Haito that had no reason to be so smooth, but looked perfect.
-Haito busted out the Balls Mahoney spinning wheel kick in the corner so much better than Balls used to that it might as well be a completely different move.
-This boy/girl got so behind Brian Pillman fighting from underneath that she held up a beefcake picture of him, like saying, “Look how erotic you are, Brian!”

-Pillman wins with a “bodyblock”. He flew off of the top rope and just kind of flew into Haito.

“Stunning” STEVE AUSTIN vs T.A. McCOY
-Weeks after Steve Austin was “freed” by Colonel Robert Parker, he’s finally sent to the ring alone.
-Looking at Austin’s opponent, the only thing real about McCoy might be his dark roots.

-Steve Austin’s spot where the opponent has him in a wristlock and he runs around in a circle, grabbing at the ropes might be the most underrated thing Steve Austin ever did in his career.
-Austin wins with the “That’s a Wrap” standing figure four leglock in quick order.

CONTROL CENTER!
-Gene sends us to video of George Foreman beating the crap out of Hulk Hogan. I’m legitimately not kidding. It’s just Foreman punching Hogan in the gut a lot, trying to “toughen him up”, before Foreman turns to the camera and blubbers something about Hulkamania.

-When you see the word “dastardly” in the dictionary, this picture will come up.

-After briefly hyping the other matches, they cut to another Hulk Hogan promo. Jimmy Hart pretty much has an orgasm when Hogan grabs him by the collar and demands that Jimmy hit Sensuous Sherri if she interferes. This is kind of creepy.

JOHNNY B. BADD vs CHICK DONOVAN
-If you’ve never seen Chick Donovan, he’s pretty legendary. He has the world’s oldest head and the world’s youngest body.

-Chick Donovan sure does love his chinlocks.
-Badd wins with the single most awkward double axe handle off of the top rope in history. Donovan ducked down and Badd hit him in the small of the back while Donovan’s head went into Badd’s gut.

We go to the interview area, where Harley Race and Vader are standing by. If you didn’t know Vader doesn’t run from anyone, he’ll tell you ten times if you watch this promo.

WCW Tag Team Championship: NASTY BOYS (Jerry Saggs & Brian Knobbs) vs. CACTUS JACK & KEVIN SULLIVAN(w/Dave Sullivan) (c)
-I believe this is the first allusion to Dave Sullivan being a Hulkamaniac (tasteful dyslexia joke included).

-They awkwardly cut to a shot of the crowd after Saggs nailed Cactus Jack with the ringsteps and, when they cut back, all four guys were fighting in the ring with Dave Sullivan laying on the ground.
-It’s one of those matches that starts as a wild brawl and turns into a regulation tag match, as the bad guys got the heat on Jack.
-Pretty Wonderful came out to lay out Dave Sullivan, then blasted Brian Knobbs in the head to allow Kevin Sullivan to pin him for the win. Saggs and Pretty Wonderful get into it, as they try to tempt everyone at ringside to fight them. Wild, chaotic scene to end a decent little match.

We go to a Ric Flair and Sensuous Sherri promo in front of the chroma wall. It’s SO weird to see RIC FLAIR willingly rely on someone else to help him cut a promo. I understand Sherri’s deal wasn’t that she was trying to be a beauty queen, but who the heck convinced her that this facepaint was a good idea?

Overall, it’d probably be worth watching for the Pillman/Haito match and the main event tag was alright, but if you’re just hunting out the best episodes, this isn’t one you need to see.

-TOM. 
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