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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 6/18/94

by on June 16, 2011

THIS WEEK! RIC FLAIR TALKS LOUDLY AND STING YELLS ALSO! HULK HOGAN TALKS ABOUT HOW HE TALKED A LOT LAST WEEK! DUSTIN RHODES FACES KOLE…WAIT, BOOKER T. STILL HASN’T CHANGED HIS NAME?!?!?

Dude, Bobby Heenan still hasn’t changed his jacket from two months ago. Gross. Anyway, all three commentators talk about how Hulk Hogan will be live at the Clash. We go to a pretaped interview from Orlando with Gene Okerlund and Hulk Hogan…

Poor Sting. Both Okerlund and Hogan are talking like Flair’s already beat Sting in the Clash of the Champions unification match. Hogan said, and I quote, “I grabbed Ted Turner by the left arm and I grabbed him by the right and said, ‘Ted, let’s find out who’s the most powerful man in the Turner organization!'”. He then insinuated that he had to break Ted Turner’s arms to get into WCW, then used Jimmy Hart’s jacket as an example of what it would look like if he decided to eat Ric Flair’s arm (“You’d chew it off!”, yelled Gene).

This promo was completely and utterly ridiculous.

“Stunning” STEVE AUSTIN (w/Col. Parker and Meng) vs BARRY HOUSTON
-One week after Colonel Parker said he’d no longer be accompanying Steve Austin to the ring, he walked him down the aisle and was heckled by THIS GUY:

-This is odd praise, but Houston takes GREAT snapmare bumps. He can flip ridiculously fast.
-Houston also jumped in the air very high on one leg off of a shinbreaker to take a great bump off of a shinbreaker.
-The commentators are trying to cover for Parker being out at the ring by saying that when Parker walked off, Austin got knocked out by Johnny B. Badd, thus he needs Meng at ringside.
-After Bobby Heenan praised how great the Hollywood & Vine leglock was, Austin finished Houston off with “That’s a Wrap”, a standing figure four. These shows were pretaped; no excuse to not know the finishes if you’re commentating over the footage.

Col. Parker walks over to be interviewed by Gene Okerlund to talk up his Stable’s matches at the Clash, comparing Dustin Rhodes at one point to a puppy store.

We go to a pre-tape of Ray Traylor being initiated into the Guardian Angels. This guy’s mustache approves.

The Angels had all sorts of lovely catchphrases (“dare to care”, “rock and shock the streets”). Ray Traylor was a great promo guy throughout the years, but man alive, when hen tries to “act”, he’s somehow the most bland dude alive.

LARRY ZBYSZKO vs MIKE THOR
-Zbyszko’s music ruled. He had some sort of Ben Hur-style horn-based song that totally didn’t fit him whatsoever.
-Mike Thor looked more like a melted Stan Lane than a powerhouse.

-Zbyszko wins quickly with a spinning neckbreaker.
Zbyszko walks over to the interview area to show off his glistening abs.

The only note of importance with this promo is that Zbyszko did, in fact, issue Regal “one ticket to Larryland”.

“The Enforcer” ARN ANDERSON vs BILL PAYNE
-I’m assuming there was supposed to be a video package for the World Tag Team Title match at the Clash that didn’t air, since Schiavone said, “And that should be a barnburner for the tag titles at the Clash!” while Arn walked out.
-Larry Hennig let himself go.

-They’re teasing on commentary that Tully Blanchard is out on the road, recruiting talent for the Horsemen despite not being under contract.
-Arn Anderson, the babyface, decided to throw Bill Payne to the floor and grind his nose into the floor like the Horsemen did with Ricky Morton.
-Anderson wins with the DDT.

We go to the Clash of the Champions Control Center where Gene Okerlund hypes that “the five-time WWF Champion” Hulk Hogan will be there to show off his very long arm or confront Ric Flair. Your choice.

KOLE (aka Booker T.) vs “The Natural” DUSTIN RHODES
-Guys who wear their tights over their boots irk me, therefore 1994 Booker T. is not a favorite of mine.
-Impressive rope-running sequence early on by two gigantic men in a tiny ring (it’s never more obvious than when the 6’6+ wrestlers are wrestling, how small WCW’s television ring was).
-Dustin went for the bulldog early in the bout and Kole busted out a neat side suplex reversal.
-I can’t make heads or tails of what THIS was supposed to be. Dustin sold it like a strike to the back of the skull…

-Kole misses a second rope legdrop, allowing Dustin to make his big comeback. I’ve seen people less into shooting star presses than they are into one Dustin Rhodes punch from this match.
-Rhodes goes over clean, then Kane (Stevie Ray) jumps into the ring and chop-blocks Rhodes’ knee (which Schiavone interestingly called “a Ron Simmons move”, considering Ron had been let go from WCW at this point, I believe). Arn Anderson made the save for Dustin to tease that Arn will be Dustin’s partner at the Clash.

Anderson and Rhodes go to the interview area, as Dustin askes Arn if he’ll be his partner to face Bunkhouse Buck and Terry Funk at the Clash. Luckily the Clash was a free television show, as Arn said he wouldn’t give his answer until the Clash.

We close the show with a Ric Flair promo about the unification match with Sting at the Clash. He cut a really good promo about how, if Sting can’t win at the Clash, he has to leave the building knowing he doesn’t have the pride of telling anyone that he’s the champion of anything, let alone the unified champion of the world.

Sadly, this was a completely nothing episode (the disc said it was fifty-five minutes long with commercials). The in-ring content was few and far between, as they were in heavy shill mode for the Clash. On the plus side, there was a decent main event and a good Ric Flair promo, but that was about twelve minutes total of an hour-long mediocre show.

-TOM.
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