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’94 WWF BLOGJECT: 6/11/94

by on June 13, 2011

THIS WEEK! TED DiBIASE DRIVES!



We open with Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler at the video screen. The way Vince described the situation with his enthusiasm, I kind of think he thought the Undertaker/Ted DiBiase thing was real. He also made a joke, insinuating that we’ll see a murder at the King of the Ring (“Jerry Lawler, I have a feeling at King of the Ring, you’ll be leaving…in A HEARSE!”).



YOKOZUNA & CRUSH vs THE SMOKING GUNNS (Billy & Bart)
-I’m almost positive they just wrapped a bedsheet on Yokozuna this week.





 -The Gunns ran down the aisle and jumped the heels as soon as their music hit. 
-It’s interesting that Yokozuna and Crush’s first TV match together, to the best of my knowledge, was against a relatively big-name team who needed to look even against them to retain their status and couldn’t make them look like the monsters they needed to be for the pay-per-view.
-That all being said, Bart Gunn took some awesome bumps for Yokozuna. He made him look darned awesome (maybe too awesome, as he tried to do the Jannetty/Rikishi corkscrew bump off of a clothesline and landed on his shoulder/side of his head).
-I like the little touch where normally, the heel tags out right when the hot tag goes down, but Yokozuna’s really fat and was too slow, so Billy ran in and bulldogged him.
-It’s weird that a year earlier, it was considered a huge feat to bump Yokozuna and at this point, Billy Gunn was allowed to bump Yokozuna repeatedly.
-Yokozuna and Crush win with a gorilla press slam by Crush into a running legdrop by Yokozuna.

We go to Live Event News where they showed Jeff Jarrett handing out Hacksaw Duggan foam 2×4’s to homeless kids. Yep.



DOINK the CLOWN (w/Dink) vs DERRICK STONE
-I’m surprised exploitive Vince McMahon never tried convincing charities that Doink was a Patch Adams-style doctor/clown character whose manager was a sick kid…



-They cut into this match to shill ICOPRO. Apparently even in June of 1994, you still have got to want it.



-People are wrong when they say that Doink stopped doing wrestling holds when Matt Borne was fired. He still did holds; he just sucked at performing them.
-Doink won with the Whoopie Cushion (top rope bombs away/butt drop) and they’re still doing the fart sound effect.



We go back to Raw, where Jerry Lawler interviewed Pat Piper.



I don’t get why they couldn’t have brought in Tom Pritchard or someone who could’ve done a good Roddy Piper impersonation. He had the basic gist, but then he’s randomly go into middle-aged stereotypical Jewish woman mode. It was bizarre.

We go to Roddy Piper sitting in a parking lot somewhere, where he says he appreciates the kid’s appreciation of his career but he has no respect for bullies like Jerry Lawler. 



They shilled the WWF Magazine. Not with a preview of an article on Bret Hart or Diesel or a centerfold of Alundra Blayze. No, no…they shilled a personality profile on Stan Lane.



David Paul is our guest ring announcer and some teenage girl’s awkward father.




IRWIN R. SCHYSTER vs KENNY HENDRIX
-Irwin once again did the Letterman ripoff “Top Three Tax Cheats”, which included Tatanka, Oscar from Men on a Mission and Mabel, who he’s wrestling at King of the Ring.
-We get an insert promo from Mabel and Oscar. They talk about Mabel’s fat, like usual.
-Hendrix ran the ropes like he was in a flaming barbed wire match: he was scared to DEATH.
-IRS wins with the STF quickly.

We go to a King of the Ring Report with Todd Pettengill. Nothing out of the ordinary, other than clips being shown of Tatanka beating Crush in a lumberjack match to advance into the tournament. Judging by the amount of obscure references Pettengill busted out on these segments, I have a feeling he was the game show host equivalent of a “hardcore smart fan”.

DUKE “The Dumpster” DROSE vs RENO RIGGINS
-For a garbageman, Duke’s hair was always really well-conditioned and had a great sheen…



-Let’s take another look at the glory that is Reno Riggins’ jacket…




-Riggins was lifted into a bearhug and yells out very matter-of-factly, “HE IS BREAKING MY BACK. MY BACK IS BEING BROKEN!”
-Drose wins with the sidewalk slam. Riggins was fantastic (as usual) at making his guy look awesome.

 THE HEARTBREAK HOTEL
-Shawn Michaels starts the segment by cutting a promo on Bret Hart for Diesel’s match at King of the Ring, then ties the money Diesel will make as WWF Champion into how rich Ted DiBiase is to bring DiBiase out as a guest.
-People were ridiculous if they ever bought this dude as the Undertaker, even for a week or two.




-Brian Lee was blatantly and horribly lip-syncing over an old Undertaker promo. That’d be awesome if the gimmick was that we were supposed to be able to tell that he was an imposter, but the whole deal is that this guy was supposed to be the real thing.

“Double J” JEFF JARRETT vs A FELLOW
-They never announced his opponent’s name clearly.
-Jeff Jarrett did a second rope flying punch to the face, which seemed like the most wasteful move possible. Wouldn’t you want a solid base underneath you when you swing a punch?
-I just found out it was Marty Garner (“Cham Pain” of OMEGA fame). How did I find this out? Vince McMahon screaming “MARTY GARNER! MARTY GARNER!” after THE SINGLE MOST PSYCHOTIC BUMP IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. He went for a running tope and landed like this: 







-Jarrett won with the Figure Four Leglock after that. DUH.
-After the match, Vince mentioned if Marty Garner and “James Garner from Maverick” are related, then Jerry Lawler told the ending of the movie and the segment ends with Vince yelling “AWWWW MAN!”.

The Live Event Center was next, promoting the upcoming Madison Square Garden house show. They seriously advertised Nikolai Volkoff versus Virgil as a marquee match.

They close the show by announcing Nikolai Volkoff against Mabel next week on Superstars.

 
Overall, an okay show. Marty Garner’s insane bump definately made the show memorable and the opening tag match wasn’t bad. It’s noteworthy for the Underfaker debut, but if you really want the vital fun stuff from this show, just search Youtube for the Garner bump.


-TOM
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