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’94 WWF BLOGJECT: 5/30/94

by on May 30, 2011

The show opens with clips from the Jarrett/Luger King of the Ring qualifiing match from last week.

Harvey Wippleman is standing by with Jerry “The King” Lawler to discuss his charge (Adam Bomb) going into a King of the Ring qualifier today against the 1-2-3 Kid. Of course, Wippleman said victory was going to be as easy as “1-2-3”.

DIESEL vs PJ WALKER
-Vince McMahon thought we could clearly see this was the Intercontinental Title, as he started going off about the shiny bumper on Diesel’s waist.
-Kevin Nash’s side slam was so much cooler when he had a reason to care (he jumped with it and crushed poor Walker).
-Diesel won with the jackknife powerbomb.
-After the match, McMahon asked where Shawn Michaels was, to which Lawler replied, “He always picks Memorial Day weekend to open his magnificent swimming pool!”. That’s a reason.

THE SMOKING GUNNS (Billy & Bart) vs IRON MIKE SHARPE & TONY DeVITO
-Sharpe posed before the match like one of those ironic “Hey look, wacky pose!” Facebook pictures.

-Sharpe obviously told DeVito, “Kid, tonight you’re gonna take the offense. I’m an old man, kid. I can’t take these newfangled manuevers”. He literally stayed in the corner the entire match. Even when Bart ran at him to stop him from coming into the ring to break up the fall for the Sidewinder finisher, he walked down the apron and yelled “NO NO NO!” to avoid bumping.
This was the advertisement for the 1994 Hall of Fame. The WWF production and advertising departments have come a long way.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: 1-2-3 KID vs ADAM BOMB
-“There’s no truth to the rumor that Adam Bomb has been seen in North Korea” – Jerry Lawler
-There was a spot early on where the Kid backdropped Bomb over the top rope that, if this were 2011, I don’t think would ever see the light of day. Whether the momentum would allow it to really happen or not, it still looked completely prepostorous.
-Bomb was dominating Kid but went for the deal where you jump on the dude while his throat’s over the middle rope and ended up hitting his junk on the rope when Kid moved.
-Kwang ran down to ringside to help Bomb win the match, but ended up spewing mist in Bomb’s face on accident, allowing the Kid to win the match.

-Wippleman and Kwang ran from ringside after the match, really teasing the upcoming turn.

YOKOZUNA (w/Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji) vs COREY STUDENT
-Corey Student looked like he was always eating peanut butter.

-Yokozuna really looked like he’d rather just lay down and take a nap than anything.

-WOW. I always thought Yokozuna never talked before his babyface turn, but he absolutely yelled at the crowd to “Shut UP!” during this match.
-Yokozuna wins this match with the belly-to-belly suplex. Yoko must’ve liked him.

We go to the King of the Ring Report with Todd Pettengil. Bret Hart got a fancy chroma wall deal with highlights of his career played behind him.

Roddy Piper also sent in another taped promo, this time with his pick-up truck and his dog. Piper is offended that Todd Pettengil said he’s “trash-talking”, then uses the line, “Lawler, I heard you had liposuction and they used a fire hose”.

Pettengil goes through the bracker for King of the Ring and calls the Men on a Mission member “Big Momma Mabel”. That’s a way to put over your monster. Call him “Momma”.

IRWIN R SCHYSTER vs MIKE MARALDO
-Maraldo would later go on to be Ace Darling of late-90’s East Coast indies fame.

-Vince McMahon blatantly yelling at the referee to count faster whenever the good guy enhancement wrestler Maraldo would pin IRS was something.
-IRS wins with the Penalty (STF) quickly.

This ambulance driver claims he saw the Undertaker pop up from out of his vehicle, then jumped on two of the cars and jumps over the fence of the hospital. Sounds like parkour to me.

We cut to Ted DiBiase in a funeral parlor. There’s a skeevy undertone to this promo about DiBiase buying corpses for play that creeps me out.

THE HEAVENLY BODIES (Jimmy Del Rey & Dr. Tom Pritchard, w/Jim Cornette) vs MIKE DAVIS & PHIL APOLLO
-I get it. Wings…they’re “heavenly” bodies. Ha. Ha.

-They must’ve hated Apollo’s nose or something. They just kept kicking at and pulling on it.
-Jerry Lawler announced that Kwang will face Adam Bomb on Superstars next week.
-The Bodies won with a KILLER power bomb version of the Doomsday Device.
-Vince McMahon claimed Jimmy Del Rey was “the single most repulsive human being alive” after the match.

We close the show with footage of Adam Bomb going off on Harvey Wippleman after the match. Hiding in warehouses is pro wrestling.

-TOM.
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