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’94 WWF BLOGJECT: 5/21/94

by on May 23, 2011

THIS WEEK! LEX LUGER FIGHTS JEFF JARRETT IN THE KING OF THE RING! OTHER WRESTLING MATCHES!

During the opening stand-up, Vince McMahon announces that Duke “The Dumpster” Drose makes his in-ring debut this week, plus the Headshrinkers and Crush in action.

RAZOR RAMON vs DEREC DOMINO (that’s how they spelt it)
-Domino apparently doesn’t put his gear on all of the way before he enters the ring.

-Domino took an AWESOME bump on a Beale toss from Razor. He looked like he got tossed out of a car.
-Razor Ramon really was kind of a jerk, if you think about it. He always used to slap around and mock inferior opponents, he taught children to speak in horribly misspoken slang and I’m sure in some subliminal way, the razorblades on his tights encouraged an entire generation of self-mutilating teenagers.
-Razor pinned Domino with the Razor’s Edge after goofing around with him for minutes.

We see clips of the Yokozuna/Earthquake sumo match, which had taken place on Raw the previous Monday. It was kind of hilarious how they made Earthquake wear tights with his mawashi for fear of too much exposure. I understand Yoko’s need for tights (since he actually did matches and things could have fallen out of place) but the WWF’s need to be family-friendly pooping all over sumo tradition is awesomely ridiculous.

CRUSH vs MIKE TERRENCE
-Crush cut a promo on Lex Luger before the match to light some sort of fire behind their house show feud. Side-note: what was Crush’s facepaint supposed to look like?

-Crush’s opponent might’ve been a child. He was TINY.
-Mike Terrence lasted one minute before losing to a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
-This week’s guest ring announcer:

-After the match, Crush gorilla pressed Terrance over his head and simply dropped him out of the ring, Brandon “The Thrill” Hill-style.

This week’s Live Event Center hyped a tug of war between WWF wrestlers and the entire seagoing US military on the U.S.S. Intrepid.

DUKE “The Dumpster” DROSE vs MIKE BELL
-Jerry Lawler’s at the entrance with a microphone, waiting for Drose to come out for an interview before the match. Lawler tries to make jokes about Drose smelling, so Duke dumps trash on his head. That’s absolutely what we need to teach kids to do to bullies.|
-Drose absolutely performed the worst spinebuster I’ve ever seen during this match. He both dropped Bell and tripped over his own feet at the same time, but both events seemed to be completely unrelated.
-OH GOODNESS. Drose almost broke poor Mike Bell’s neck on his tilt-a-whirl finisher.

We go to the King of The Ring Report with Todd Pettengill. Pettengill still hasn’t changed his jacket, but he did put on a King of the Ring hat. He announced Yokozuna & Crush against the Headshrinkers for the pay-per-view, then claimed that, due to their girth, he wanted to wear steel pants at ringside. I don’t get it. We also get another lovely video from “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, hyping up his match with Jerry Lawler.

WWF Tag Team Champions THE HEADSHRINKERS (Samu & Fatu, w/Capt. Lou Albano & Afa) vs JIM MASSENGER & RAY ROY
-I think Fatu is supposed to be more sophisticated than Samu. While Samu is licking at and trying to eat his title belt, Fatu is kissing his and smiling big, happy to be a champion.
-I just found a shirt I NEED…

-Ray Roy’s name has to be a rib.
-The enhancement guys tried attacking the Headshrinkers from behind, but the ‘Shrinkers no-sold it, then started attacking each other to show that those bums couldn’t hurt them.
-Fatu wastes no time pinning Roy with a top rope splash.

THIS GUY claims he saw the Undertaker shopping at his bakery, looking for six dozen coffin-shaped donuts (no really, that was the dialogue written for him):

We then go to a graveyard, where Ted DiBiase is just hanging out. DiBiase is now on his hunt for the Undertaker, using the almighty dollar as the power that will draw in the Undertaker. Wrestling attire always looks more ridiculous in “real life situations”.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: “Double J” JEFF JARRETT (w/Mr. Fuji) vs LEX LUGER
-Fuji wasn’t managing Jarrett at this point, but was feuding with Luger through Crush.
-Luger was more ripped, no doubt about it, but Vince McMahon keeps acting like Luger was this gigantic monster whose size Jarrett couldn’t deal with. In reality, I’d be surprised if Jarrett was even twenty-five pounds lighter at this point.
-Luger busted out a running bodypress during this match. Judging by his form, there was a reason he didn’t do it too often.
-These two did NOT have any sort of chemistry whatsoever. They both looked really clumsy against each other and it just seemed like there was miscommunication galore at times.
-Jarrett wins by countout when Crush comes out, causing Luger to jump out of the ring and brawl with him to the locker room.

We end the show with the 1-2-3 Kid coming out for an interview with Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler to discuss his King of the Ring qualifiing match next week with Adam Bomb.

Kid cut this super humble, respectul promo about the match, so muchso that it would blow your mind that he’d end up doing some of the things he’d do as X-Pac or even Syxx.

Overall, I’m just glad the New York-area house shows were done with so the Live Event Center videos wouldn’t be rehashes. I think this was the first show from a new set of tapings, as it looked like a new building and they would usually debut a guy on TV (like Duke Drose) the first set of new tapings.

-TOM.
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