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Review: Florida Championship Wrestling TV – 5/15/11

by on May 18, 2011

HOORAY! William Regal is in the commentary booth with Matt Martlaro this week! He’s already done a fabulous job of selling the stips for the FCW Gauntlet 5 (five-man gauntlet match where if the wrestler runs through all five opponents, he gets a dream match) in a way that subtly lets you know he thinks it’s ridiculous.

CALVIN RAINES vs TITO COLON
-Raines is this lilly-butt white dude covered in tattoos who comes out to awful gangsta rap. Sounds like a lovely fellow, eh?
-There’s not a PRAYER that Tito Colon gets called up as Tito Colon. He looks EXACTLY like cousin Primo, from his haircut to his gear to the way he tapes his hands.
-They brought up a Breaking News graphic during this match, saying that Calvin Raines and Big E. Langston (who I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE) won the FCW Tag Team Titles at a live event after this was taped. Nice touch, but disappointing to see considering how great Seth Rollins and Richie Steamboat were together.
-It’s EERIE how quiet this crowd is. I’ve seen livelier groups of people at funerals.
-It comes off like these guys are just practicing moves in front of a crowd. There’s no flow, no story…one guy will perform a move, then the other will, rinse/wash/repeat.
-Raines wins the match with the Raines of Fire, which is supposed to be a fireman’s carry into a spinebuster, but just looks lazy and clumsy.

HUNICO vs DAMIEN SANDOW
-If you don’t know, Hunico is Incognito, who’s wrestled for Chikara in the past and was the original Mistico before Sin Cara got the role.
-Sandow is the former Aaron “Idol” Stevens and was doing an M. Bison gimmick for a while (complete with crappy accent). He’s dropped the unique gimmick, gear and voice for black trunks and black boots. Downgrade.
-Regal told a story before the match about living with a caravan of wrestlers (including one of Sandow’s trainers, Rip Rogers, thus the story) in Germany for six months eating just cheese. It was grand.
-Hunico wasn’t exactly the best guy in Chikara when he was there, but he stands out in FCW because not everyone there wrestles his style and he seems to be picking up the WWE style of working constantly towards a pinfall whenever a guy’s on the mat, better than most.
-It’s bizarre to see Aaron Stevens apply a Misawa butterfly lock to a luchadore on a WWE-sponsored show in Florida.
-William Regal explaining villain strategy makes wrestling’s ridiculousness make sense.
-AWESOME spot where Hunico’s up top, Sandow runs towards him, Hunico does a flip onto his feet where (when he’s upside down) he pushes off of Sandow’s back in mid-air and lands on his feet.
-Hunico wins with a roll-up. Sandow attacks Hunico after the match, Titus O’Neal makes the save (Hunico & O’Neal? What a team), but Sandow sneaks back in and lays out Titus O’Neal with a flatliner. Sandow & O’Neal were FCW tag team champions before losing the belts to Rollins & Steamboat and are now feuding.

DONNY MARLOW & BIG E. LANGSTON vs RICARDO RODRIGUEZ & BRODUS CLAY
-YES! BIG E. LANGSTON!
-You can tell how much thought they put into title changes when Langston won the tag belts with another partner (let alone a heel) RIGHT after this episode.
-Marlow had the most energetic entrance this side of the Briscoes. Lots of screaming and hooting.
-Rodriguez wrestles down in FCW and doesn’t wrestle like a manager. He has real gear, a robe, and so on while working like a cowardly wrestler, but not like he’s any lesser than the wrestlers.
-Regal speaks slang when “quoting Snoop Dogg” (who he referred to a “close, personal friend”) while putting over Langston.
-Langston and Clay doing big man versus big man spots together wasn’t NEARLY as awful as you’d think.
-WOW. Rodriguez tried a GORGEOUS Skytwister Press from the second rope.
-“This guy might have a worse body than me!” -Regal
-Rodriguez tries a nerve hold on Langston. Langston just stands up and tags out; no issues.
-Rodriguez pins Marlow after Clay laid him out with a T-Bone Suplex.
-Rodriguez really is one of the true MVP’s of the entire WWE roster. It’s amazing what someone can do when you find the right role for them.

Queen of FCW Crown vs FCW Divas Title: Queen of FCW AKSANA vs FCW Divas Champion AJ

-Someone must’ve told Aksana “NEVER stop pointing at your crown” because she looks SCARED TO DEATH to not forget to point at the crown.
-AJ will get broken in a pro wrestling ring someday. She’s even smaller-looking than the TINY girls on the WWE roster and she’s working with girls like Aksana who will drop you on your head on accident for minutes on end.
-People shouldn’t do dives if they’re scared to death of heights. There’s NOTHING wrong with being scared to do a dive. Just don’t do it. (AJ did a plancha from the top rope kneeling down with both hands on the turnpost)
-FCW GM Maxine interferes, distracting AJ and allowing Aksana to hit a spinebuster called “The Debo Drop” (I don’t think they know what “debo” means”) for the win.
-I’m almost positive they’re trying to run a PG lesbian storyline with Maxine and Aksana, the way those two were hugging and kissing on each other.

FCW Gauntlet 5: BO ROTUNDO RUNS THE GAUNTLET
-Another stipulation besides the usual gauntlet match: if Bo Rotundo can’t beat a guy in two minutes, they become a lumberjack. If Rotundo wins, he’ll get a no disqualification FCW Title match with Lucky Cannon next week.
-Jacob Novak is the first man in the gauntlet.
-Bo Rotundo pins Novak in 45 seconds with an AWESOME spear. For being a small-looking dude, he PLOWED through Novak; no Edge-style “running spear” here.
-Speaking of Novak, I feel bad for him. First guy out on BOTH seasons of NXT he’s done and he just lost in 45 seconds clean as a sheet here. Sure, no one’ll see it, but it means SOMEONE doesn’t like him.
-I guess, if Rotundo beats a guy before the two minutes is up, he gets the rest of the time period to rest, ala the Royal Rumble.
-Jinder Mahal is the second man.
-Mahal is far more dominant than Novak; using his generic WWE big man offense to succeed.
-Mahal lasts the two minutes, so he becomes a lumberjack.
-Bobby Dutch (who comes out to the old New Blackjacks’ music wearing the black leather vest and carrying a bullrope) is number three. He’s a big ol’ boy; more Husky Harris than Mason Ryan.
-Dutch takes out Rotundo with an AWESOME Bossman slam (maybe the sickest one I’ve ever seen), then FCW GM Maxine (who’s aligned with Lucky Cannon) demands that he go to the floor to become a lumberjack a minute early. Stuff makes no sense.
-Brett DiBiase is number four.
-DiBiase choking Rotundo using the metal part of the ringpost allows Regal to go into a great diatribe about how the ring should be used as a weapon at all times.
-DiBiase lasted the full two minutes, so Lucky Cannon is the final man in the match. I THINK Rotundo has to beat Cannon in order to win the match and not just last two minutes, but I’m not entirely sure.
-Rotundo gets Cannon with an immediate spear, then spears the interferring Brett DiBiase.
-Announcer Matt Martlaro explains that he just has to last two minutes in order to get the title shot.
-Buck Dixon (Maxine’s security guard and Henry Godwin’s son) runs out, but he also gets a spear. The rest of the lumberjacks run into the ring (plus other heels like Leo Krueger and Husky Harris) run in to attack Rotundo, but the rest of the FCW locker room runs out to make the save, resulting in a full-ring brawl with Lucky Cannon sneaking out of the back door. The cliffhanger ending is supposed to be whether Bo Rotundo gets his title shot or not (you’d think since he won via disqualification, he’d win and get the shot, but it’s wrestling…).
Overall, pretty much exactly on par with last week (though this week’s good match, Sandow/Hunico, wasn’t nearly as good as the tag team main event from last week). The AJ/Aksana match went way too long (if the girls are going to have to go long in developmental to learn how to work, put them in with veterans who they’d actually learn from).

-TOM.
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