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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 4/30/94

by on May 9, 2011

THIS WEEK! MAXX PAYNE CUTS A SILENT PROMO! HE’S WRESTLING…VADER? #)IND_I(#J)IJFRINFD!!!!!!! WOW! I AM EXCITED!

Seriously…that sounds like the awesomest super heavyweight match ever. It’s like if Vader wrestled a third, fat Steiner Brother who never showered. Plus, they’re playing up the Cactus Jack injury from Germany and that Payne’s out for revenge against his partner.
The opening three-announcer stand-up open seriously is hyping up not matches, but the promos Gene would be conducting. They go right to clips of the Steamboat/Flair double-pin from Spring Stampede:

Nick Bockwinkel comes over to Okerlund to talk about why Flair got to keep the title. Bockwinkel does an AWESOME job of explaining how the contender needs to bring “the perrogative of proof” and wrestling to a draw does not provide the proof necessary to win the belt. Flair walks into the promo angry and gives the belt back to Nick Bockwinkel, saying he wants to earn it. Then, Steamboat walks into the picture and Flair challenges him to a rematch for next week on the show. Steamboat closes the segment with an awful, awful line that sounded like some new catchphrase he was trying out: “Remember: I’m STEAMBOAT and I’ve beaten you four out of five times”.

STING vs BOB STARR
-We haven’t seen Bob Starr in a few weeks. Let’s laugh at him.

-Schiavone keeps calling Starr “Bobby” for some reason.
-Starr might’ve flown over ten feet in the air on a backdrop. Very Lee Scott-esque.
-Starr loses the match in thirty seconds to the STINGER SPLASH. Seriously…who the heck EVER lost to the Stinger Splash?!?!?!
-Sting helps Bob Starr up after the match and walks with him to the locker room. Weird.

Sting comes back out for a promo with Gene Okerlund. Sting calls out any challenger for the International Title and announced he was going to New Japan after this show for a tour.

Col. Robert Parker is standing by with Gene Okerlund and looks like his suit is made of potatoes and gravy:

Parker announces that WCW is forcing Steve Austin to face Dustin Rhodes next week for the United States Title and will then open his briefcase to get the World Title shot for his guy. Okerlund announces he has news as to whether Dustin Rhodes will get his bullrope match at Slamboree that he asked for last week, in the Slamboree Control Center. Ninety-nine percent of the time, that means it’s happening.

“Flyin'” BRIAN PILLMAN vs THE GAMBLER
-It’s literally been almost SEVEN MONTHS since the Hollywood Blondes broke up and Pillman still hadn’t bought new gear.

-Gambler was a good hand and had a silly gimmick at a time when WCW was giving all sorts of guys goofy gimmicks. How didn’t he get a real shot at something?
-We get our first hint at Ray Traylor’s future when they show random Guardian Angels in the audience.

-These two are having a really strong, fast-paced little match. They’re moving at two hundred miles a minute and everything they’re doing looks great.
-Gambler takes some great bumps. They aren’t incredibly spectacular, but he gets big air and positions himself to make the biggest “THUD” humanly possible when he lands. Most guys seem to worry more about form than impact. The Gambler was an impactful faller.
-Pillman goes over with the top rope bodypress.

We go to Gene Okerlund, who’s standing by with Lord Steven Regal and Sir William. Regal wants an apology from “that Zbyszko chappy” for walking out on an interview on WCW Pro a couple of weeks ago. Larry Zbyszko comes out and says he only apologizes to his wife since it makes his life easier. William calls him back over, to which Zbyszko replies, “I’m not here to hit anybody”…then punches him RIGHT in the mouth. Seriously, you couldn’t ask for a better punch. He rips Regal’s dress shirt off and Regal gets to show off his awesome acting chops…

CONTROL CENTER!
-Gene announced “The WCW Slam-Meet” the night before Slamboree, which apparently included “the opportunity to audition for a WCW commentary position”.
-Dustin Rhodes gets to cut a promo on Bunkhouse Buck for their bullrope match at Slamboree, then Bunk cuts a rebuttal promo, which included the following line: “He says he’s 22? He looks ONE HUNDRED!” (note: in Dustin’s promo, he said he was 24.)
-Gene Okerlund’s Hotline shill: “A lot of people want to know who the new love in Johnny B. Badd’s life is. I got the info!”. Thus begot Sable.

The Guardian Angels bumrush the interview set and are allowed to cut a promo, looking for Ray Traylor (whose real name was mentioned). Gene calls him “Big Bossman” on accident before he comes out looking like the world’s tallest Tom Selleck impersonator.

They clarify that Ray Traylor is not being offered an “honorary” position with the Guardian Angels, but a real one with the full training. Traylor accepts the position and they board the supposed jet outside the building.

RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT vs RICK FARGO
-They added an AWFUL-sounding sound effect when Steamboat blew his fire during his entrance. It sounded like a wet fart.
 -Fargo putting the theory into motion during this match brought this to my mind: isn’t it weird how the WWF always had the reputation for being the less physical promotion, yet the way that they dictated how their heels bumped was way tougher on their bodies? (most WCW heels would bump every third shot, but the WWF protocol was to bump on every single shot).
-Steamboat wins with the top rope bodypress. You’d think someone would suggest that Brian Pillman use a different finisher on at least this show.
-This is an awkward-looking pin:

Gene Okerlund is standing by with Nick Bockwinkel and the WCW Title belt. Two weeks from this episode, Ric Flair was announced as being put in a match with Steamboat for the WCW World Title.

Lou Thesz narrates the bumper to commercial, where he plugs the WCW Hall of Fame inductions at Slamboree.

Sensuous Sherri is standing by with Gene Okerlund. Sherri on the WCW locker room: “Is there anything in that locker room that I haven’t seen before?”, which caused Gene’s weekly butterfingers/dirty old man microphone slip.

VADER (w/Harley Race) vs MAXX PAYNE
-So, was Maxx Payne being from the State of Euphoria some sort of drug allusion?

-As you can tell, these two men are almost the same size yet Vader was billed as being almost one hundred pounds heavier.
-HOLY CRUD. Vader went NUTS during his hammering shots in the corner. Payne made the mistake of bending over, so Vader pounded the back of his head with hammer fists.
-I never thought I’d feel bad for Maxx Payne, but man alive Vader is beating him like a mule. Vader just gave him a Hansen-style lariat that HAD to have given Payne a concussion.
-HUGE pop for Maxx Payne giving Vader a vertical suplex, but Vader popped RIGHT back up to cut Payne off.
-This match is like the finishing sequence to a mid-90’s Japanese-style heavyweight match where these two are throwing bombs and big suplexes/tosses with no regard.
-Vader finishes off Payne with a side suplex, then two Vader bomb splashes followed by a TOP ROPE SPLASH. Payne was RIGHT up against the ropes, so Vader jumped STRAIGHT up in the air and landed like a sack of crap (which looked like it DESTROYED poor Maxx).

Rick Rude runs out after the match and goes NUTS with a chair. You’ve never seen someone swing a chair so recklessly. Rude goes over to be interviewed by Mean Gene and…well, look at him.

That does it for this episode of WCW Saturday Night. The Vader/Payne and Pillman/Gambler matches were really strong (Vader/Payne specifically, since it was very much a New Japan heavyweight match and radically different from anything else going on in WCW at the time) and it was interesting to see Rick Rude do what was pretty much a Steve Austin-style babyface run-in at the end of the show.

-TOM. 
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