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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 4/23/94

by on May 4, 2011

I originally decided to just do the one WWF & WCW Blogject this week. Then, I pulled out the disc for this episode of Saturday Night and realized it was only an hour long (up to this point, the episodes have usually been at least two hours long). Between this news and having some time open up, I decided, “Hey…let’s give the people more bang for their non-existant buck”, and thus this.

*****

THIS WEEK! ORIENT EXPRESS FACE RICKY STEAMBOAT AND ARN ANDERSON (called “two of America’s most beloved heroes), SCORPIO & BAGWELL WALTZ THROUGH THEIR COMPETITION! BAD ATTITUDE VERSUS THE SULLIVANS! MORE!
We open with a Sting promo from after Spring Stampede. He just keeps screaming random noises. “OOOOWWW! AHHHH! OOWWWWIEEE!”. He’s excited because he beat Rick Rude for the International World Title, you see. Harley Race ran in at the end of that match to set up a Vader/Sting feud over that belt (though it was supposed to lead to Rude versus Vader, which would’ve been a crazy battle of two bitter, hard-hitting dudes).

2 COLD SCORPIO & MARCUS ALEXANDER BAGWELL vs THE GAMBLER & TONY ZANE
-Bagwell posed like every Facebook picture I’ve ever taken.

-Notable for this match is the debut of WILDCAT WILLIE, WCW’s mascot. I cannot believe 2 Cold Scorpio lost his job later in 1994, but Wildcat Willie lasted until 1999.
-Marcus Bagwell threw this suplex at one point that legitimately seemed like he didn’t know whether to hook Zane for the fisherman’s suplex or not. He threw him over, then just laid there awkwardly with him.
-Scorpio busted out the HIGHEST SPLASH IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
-Scorpio wins with the 450 in under two minutes.
We go to the announcer three-man stand-up with Heenan, Schiavone and Okerlund. Okerlund hyped that a new member to the WCW roster would be debuting and “she is VERY sensuous…with the initial ‘S'”. That last part literally doesn’t make sense.

“The Natural” DUSTIN RHODES vs RICK FARGO
-Wrestlers really, really shouldn’t wear white trunks with nothing on them. Rhodes looked like he was wrestling in a diaper.
-Fargo bumps like he’s the world’s biggest Misawa fan, but only of the way he would fall when he’d get thrown on big suplexes. He keeps throwing his legs high in the air and falling on his head for every single move. It was scary.
-Rhodes wins quickly with the bulldog, then shows off his unfortunately-scarred forehead.
Dustin goes to talk with Gene Okerlund. The bell on Dustin’s random bullrope keeps ringing, which makes it very distracting to hear Dustin talk. He challenged Buck to a bullrope match, to which Gene replied, “I live in the city; what’s a bullrope match?”. Way to alienate your fanbase, Gene Okerlund.
CONTROL CENTER!
-Gene Okerlund’s already knee-deep in Slamboree hype.
-Gene announced “Ravishing” Rick Rude versus Vader for the pay-per-view, then tossed to a GREAT Rick Rude babyface promo about how Harley Race always talks about how the big man squashes the little man, but Harley himself won the World Title seven times at 245 pounds.
We go to video from after Spring Stampede, where Nick Bockwinkel stripped The Boss of his nightstick and handcuffs. I enjoy how WCW was served a cease-and-desist on the Big Bossman gimmick, so they did a generic cop movie angle with Nick Bockwinkel as the police commissioner.

BAD ATTITUDE (Steve Keirn & Bobby Eaton) vs THE SULLIVAN BROTHERS (Dave & Kevin)
-Kevin Sullivan goes after Steve Keirn on the floor before the match, then Dave Sullivan walloped Bobby Eaton with one of the best-looking right hooks I’ve ever seen in a wrestling match. It looked BRUTAL.
-Tony Schiavone listed off the legends that would be appearing at Slamboree. When he got to Larry Hennig, Heenan blurted out, “Mr. Perfect’s dad!”, which makes me believe that they thought he was coming in and that they learned NOTHING from the Boss situation.
-KEVIN SULLIVAN JUST BUSTED OUT A MONKEY FLIP. I’m not lying.
-Heenan: “How do you wrestle morons?” That might be the most poignant thing Heenan’s ever asked.
-Eaton replied for the wallop punch earlier in the match by giving Dave Sullivan a GORGEOUS right uppercut.
-The Sullivans were disqualified when Dave threw Steve Keirn over the top rope.
Instead of staying in the ring where Dave was being disciplined by Kevin for being slow, they cut RIGHT to Gene Okerlund with Col. Robert Parker to cut a promo about the Steve Austin versus Johnny B. Badd main event for next week’s show . Parker finishes the promo with a Tracy Smothers-style transition where he goes from talking about how his briefcase will somehow get Steve Austin a match with Ric Flair to how Dustin Rhodes needs to stay away from Bunkhouse Buck.
THE PATRIOT vs THE TERRORIST
-Just by the names alone, it’s like this match was booked by the braintrust of NBC’s Wrestling’s Greatest Secrets Revealed.
-The referee HAS to be country music comedic artist Ray Stevens.
-The story of this match is that neither man is actually trying any sort of offense. One guy will try to take the other’s mask off, then the other will try it. If you wanted to reveal the guy, wouldn’t it be easier to take a picture of the dude at Denny’s after the show?
-The Patriot wins the match with the full-nelson slam, then after thwarting a post-match attack, he took off the Terrorist’s mask. You could briefly see another mask under that one, but they took the camera off of the guy AS SOON as the mask was ripped off and the commentators ignored that the Terrorist was just unmasked. Talk about not getting the concept of doing something.
We go to Gene Okerlund, who introduces the debut of Sensuous Sherri, who came out to Chavo Guerrero’s awesome WCW entrance song, then kissed Gene Okerlund on the lips since she’s, you know, horny.
She announced that she’s in WCW to find a man to fulfill her needs (which caused Gene to do his classic “shaky hand microphone drop” spot). She wants a man she can take to win the World Title, then lists being “handsome” as a criteria that wins you the World Title. Apparently you win wrestling matches by causing the other wrestlers to want to kiss you.
RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT & ARN ANDERSON vs HAITO & PAT TANAKA
-Slightly disappointed that Kenny Kendall isn’t involved.
-The good guys run through the entrance and rush the ring to start the match.
-Heenan claimed that “all four guys” knew the martial arts. Didn’t know Arn Anderson was into aikido.
-Hilarious spot where Arn Anderson raked Haito’s eyes across the top rope, even though Haito’s mask didn’t have eye holes.
-These four prove they’re not idiots when the former Orient Express get the heat on Ricky Steamboat.
-Heenan: (when replying to a Hotline shill that Okerlund has news on him and Sherri) “He has nothing on me…I know what happened with Gene and Moolah did in Davenport, Iowa! It was ’64; they had rollerskates!”
-Awesome spot where Tanaka had Steamboat in a front facelock, trying to block him from tagging out to Arn Anderson and every time Steamboat would get close to Arn, Tanaka would throw perfect thrust kicks to Arn’s face without losing his balance or his hold.
-They use it to build up to Arn catching the kick, then tossing Tanaka by the leg. Anderson comes in illegally, but referee Nick Patrick lets it go. Steamboat wins with the top rope crossbody in a hot finish. Really strong little match; probably the best match on Saturday Night in weeks.
We finish with a promo from Lord Steven Regal and Sir William. Regal is irate at Larry Zbyszko for walking out on the interview on WCW Pro last week and demands that Zbyszko come on the show next week to apologize to him in front of the world. I can safely say that I’ve never seen Regal yell so much during a promo.
Overall, a REALLY rushed-feeling show. It really felt like they got the word that Saturday Night would only be sixty minutes long ten minutes before they taped the show, so they cut everyone’s time by a ton. The longest match was the main event (which went twice as long as the second longest match, that being the four-minute Sullivans/Bad Attitude match). But, we’re on the hilarious road to the Boss becoming the Guardian Angel and coming up soon: the legendary Flair/Steamboat World Title match on free television.
-TOM.
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