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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 4/2/1994

by on April 25, 2011

SIMMONS VERSUS BAGWELL! PAT FREAKIN’ TANAKA DEBUTS! BUNKHOUSE BUCK FACES ERIK WATTS? WHERE’S THE TROPHY! “HEINOUS SHEMALES” PRETTY WONDERFUL (I’m serious) FACE THUNDER & LIGHTNING!

The three-announcer opening hypes Control Center and a Ric Flair promo as the two big highpoints of the show. Oy.
Sting can’t wait for his promo time! He walks in, scaring off Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan off to yell about Rick Rude. Look at these sweats!

THUNDER & LIGHTNING vs PRETTY WONDERFUL (Paul Orndorff & Paul Roma)
-For some weird reason, they’ve been muting Gary Michael Cappetta’s microphone during ring introductions the past few weeks, but it’s really noticable when he’s on camera screaming into the microphone.
-These people. Wow.

-Schiavone: “What does that sign say?” Heenan: “It doesn’t; you have to read it.”
-Orndorff gave Jeff Warner (nWo Sting) this shoulderblock which Warner responded to by JUMPING INTO THE AIR and taking a bump feet away from the impact.
-The most hilarious thing about green guys in matches is when they’re babyfaces and are waiting for the heels to get up, but they rush in too soon. They’re stuck in this awkward position like pterodactyls with their hands up in the air. It’s pretty incredible.
-Roma & Orndorff win with a HIDEOUS top rope splash from Roma that was called the “swan dive”.

THE BOSS vs A GUY
-They never mentioned his name and he never got a chyron since he jumped Boss at the bell.
-Mr. A Guy took a KILLER bump on the floor for a right hook from Boss. He was notable for that and his purple singlet:

-Boss goes over with the Bossman Slam like usual.

Boss goes over to talk to his buddy Gene. He claims his nightstick is an “instrument of justice” before rambling. I honestly think he hyped that he’d let fans fight Vader.

CONTROL CENTER!
-Gene announces Bunkhouse Buck against Dustin Rhodes. I don’t want to know what he’s going to do with his fist like that.

-Dustin Rhodes tried getting over a failed nickname in this promo: “Capital T”, as in Texas.

Lord STEVEN REGAL (w/Sir William) vs LARRY SANTO
-Look at the tights…

-They were hyping Kole of Harlem Heat to face Ricky Steamboat on a show with pre-taped commentary that was edited well in advance. Yet, they had to have Schiavone do a cut-in to announce that Paul Diamond was replacing him.
-They began hyping the Regal/Zbyszko feud during this match, so we have that to look forward to.
-Heenan: “Zbyszko’s name looks like an eye chart!”
-Regal’s just stretching this poor guy; so much fun to watch.
-Regal goes over with the butterfly suplex as they push on commentary that he’s snapped and is turning it up a notch in his career.

Gene Okerlund’s standing by with Sir William. Regal walks up after some small-talk and defends his actions, piledriving Pillman in the angle they did on Worldwide to set up this match. Regal compared Pillman running out to attack him and Sir William as comparable to Nancy Kerrigan.

They should’ve let this guy write the TV show…

They air a Vader music video to some RIDICULOUS 80’s adult film music. Harley Race cuts a promo for Vader about how WCW paid off The Boss to take out Vader since all of the other wrestlers were too chicken to.

ERIK WATTS vs BUNKHOUSE BUCK (w/Col. Robert Parker)
-Heenan: “So a bunkhouse match, you can wear whatever you want, right? So, he could wear a t-back, right?”
-This is exactly the same as last week, where Watts keeps out-wrestling Buck, but Buck tries to get loose to just scrap with Watts, which allows him to dominate.
-Buck applies a camel clutch, which somehow makes Schiavone think that he’s learning wrestling holds, “which will make him the most dangerous man alive!”
-Watts tried to pull Col. Parker in the ring, which caused Buck to get the opening to put the brass knuckles and blast Watts for the win. Post-match, Buck tries hog-tying Watts, but Dustin Rhodes made the save.

RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT vs PAUL DIAMOND
-Diamond really was way more enormous than he was given credit for. He’s a head taller than Steamboat and a lot thicker too.
-You’ve got to feel bad for Steamboat. He goes to the WWF and he was never able to get beyond a certain point because Hulk Hogan cemented himself as the top guy. He goes to WCW, waits his time, gets a Pay-Per-View main event World Title match against his top rival…and they spend the entire build of the match hyping Hogan versus Flair.
-These two are tearing it up. Super-fast-paced match, completely in a different speed from the rest of the matches on this show so far.
-Steamboat goes over with the flying crossbody off of the top rope. You can tell this was on a different level where most of the things on these shows that make the crowd go nuts are schmozz finishes, yet a really basic squash-style match got the people going here.

Gene’s standing by with Ric Flair. They replay the Hogan interview from last week, then Flair cuts a promo on Nick Hogan (not Hulk), saying he better believe that his dad will lose to Ric Flair if they ever wrestled (based on Hogan’s comments last week that Nick didn’t know he could beat Flair). Flair offered to send Hogan a plane ticket to fly him out to Spring  Stampede. then Steamboat comes out, furious that Flair’s overlooking him for Hogan. They set up an angle for next week where Steamboat will sit in the front row while Flair wrestles.  Bobby Heenan doesn’t get the cue that it’s not his segment…

Steve Keirn is out with Gene Okerlund and Keirn said he might as well have “advertised on telegraph” with the amount of applicants he got to be his tag partner after he announced he was going to form a team in WCW. Gene Okerlund mutters the phrase “Bad Attitude” in the most contrived “coincidental” team naming EVER.

BAD ATTITUDE (Steve Keirn & Bobby Eaton) vs BRIAN ARMSTRONG & BOBBY WALKER

-Eaton in the bad tuxedo jacket and bowtie looks somehow even more forced than him doing the Midnight Express deal.
-Lots of bad, green guy “grab by the shoulder” armdrags flyin’ around when Armstrong and Walker were on offense
-Heenan has spent this entire match going on and on about how fun it is to choke people. Way funnier than it sounds.
-For some reason, Bad Attitude have a cartoon image of Earth on their butts with a spike going through it.
-Bad Attitude go over quickly.

PAT TANAKA vs “Stunning” STEVE AUSTIN (w/ Col. Rob Parker)
-They keep going on about all the great “Oriental moves” Muta’s going to bring to America. 1994: a different time.
-The crowd randomly goes NUTS for Tanaka sweeping the leg Johnny-style.
-Speaking of leg moves, Tanaka doing a dragon screw leg whip COMPLETELY BLEW Heenan’s mind. There were people less amazed by the first double moonsault than Heenan on this dragon screw.
-This match has been almost all Tanaka, which is a weird way of putting Austin over.
-Right as I said that, Austin BLASTS Tanaka with a clothesline that looked like Tanaka took a corkscrew moonsault bump for.
-I never thought I’d see Steve Austin go for a hurricanrana on Pat Tanaka in 1994, let alone Tanaka reverse it with a Liger bomb.
-Austin goes over with the Hollywood & Vine legdrop.

Gene Okerlund interviews Col. Parker and Steve Austin. Parker has a suitcase that they’re hyping as having something very, very important in it. Parker teased it was some sort of title belt. Austin cuts a promo on Ric Flair ducking him before hyping up Muta and how he’s different, but they both have to wrestle by the same rulebook once the bell rings.

MARCUS ALEXANDER BAGWELL (w/Teddy Long) vs RON SIMMONS…Umm…

That jacket. Wow.
-Ron Simmons comes out in his street clothes…with Kole (Booker T.) from Harlem Heat. I guess there WAS a storyline reason behind them cancelling a match on a taped show.
-Bobby Heenan talks to Ron Simmons before the match. Simmons claims an arm injury. They seriously spent half of the match on the camera who was on Simmons at ringside.
-I’m glad someone eventually told Booker T. he was too tall to be trying rolls and flips. He almost broke his neck trying to roll out of a wristlock.
-It’s weird to see the most basic, clumsy wrestling school match ever headlining a national television show.
-It was so basic that they did a standing elbow drop for a nearfall.
-Simmons tried to run interference for Kole, but they ended up bonking heads, causing Marcus Bagwell to roll up Kole for the win.

This week’s episode had two REALLY strong matches (Austin/Tanaka and Steamboat/Diamond). I’m looking forward to more Bad Company stuff on these shows, but I know it’ll end way too soon. Otherwise, this was just another show.

-TOM.
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