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’94 WCW BLOGJECT: 4/19/11

by on April 22, 2011

THIS WEEK…wait, I can’t do that schtick this time. Why?
THAT’S the image I open to. I got “Joined in Progress”‘d by these suckas. Anyway…

JOHNNY B. BADD vs SOME WHITE KID
-The white dude is dressed like a member of Doom and just tried to pick up Badd for a slam like this:
AWKWARD.
-He immediately followed up by sticking his head in Badd’s crotch on a pin attempt. I thought this was WCW Saturday Night, not Cyberfights.
-Badd wins with “the Greco-Roman Knuckle Sandwich”, as Bobby Heenan called the right cross.
Schiavone announces Sting’s partner for the tag team main event against Pretty Wonderful hyped last week is Brian Pillman and we go to a promo from the good guys. Pillman says, “It’s time to seperate the men from the girls…I mean boys” and Sting uncomfortably yells “THEY’RE GIRLS ALRIGHT” after some awkward silence.
Unfortunately, the nickname didn’t stick.
Heenan & Okerlund bicker back and forth during the announcers’ open about the whole Hogan situation and which of them is more deserving of interviewing him.
We get a replay of Bunkhouse Bunk’s debut angle, where he jumped Tom Zenk after his match two weeks ago, leading to…
TOM ZENK vs BUNKHOUSE BUCK (w/Col. Robert Parker)
-Bunkhouse Buck’s gimmick of knocking out cameramen is one someone needs to steal in 2011.
-I ADORE the old Hollywood Blondes music, but Buck seems so weird coming out to it.
-Awkward styles clash here, as Zenk went for the bump ‘n’ feed-style of shine, but Buck stayed down and sold each bump for seconds on end before he’d get up, leaving Zenk to just kind of stand there with his thumb up his rear.
-The story of the match is kind of neat, where Zenk locks on a headlock and will absolutely not let go, since he knows Buck is really tough but can’t wrestle to save his life (thus he puts a wrestling hold on him that he can’t escape). However, once Buck flukes his way out, he goes nuts and outbrawls Zenk.
-Buck goes over with a brass knuckles shot behind the referee’s back. Really enjoyable, but short match.
CONTROL CENTER!
-Sting versus Rick Rude got officially announced. I hate to be all 1994 RSPW-like, but how the heck do you have an international world title?
-Gene has SCOOPS on Marcus Bagwell & 2 Cold Scorpio on the Hotline! Are they humpin’?
THE NASTY BOYS (Jerry Saggs & Brian Knobbs) vs TOM TORRES & JASON JOHNSON

-Johnson looks like the single least-tough dude alive.
-You can tell Saggs agreed with me since he treated Johnson like a sack of crap.
-Torres got tagged in and took a RIDICULOUS forearm to the face.  Saggs threw it like a punch with his entire arm instead of his fist.
-It apparently did its job, since Torres looked legitimately knocked out and Saggs immediately and awkwardly pinned him for the win.
Tony Schiavone interviewed the Nasty Boys after the match (Tony said Gene didn’t want the interview since he’s scared of the Nasties, but it came off like they forgot to tape a planned promo segment and remembered after Gene bailed). This promo absolutely wouldn’t have played in 2011, since Saggs pleaded with Cactus Jack & Maxx Payne to “pop some Prozac”.
They replay an angle from WCW Main Event where Gene Okerlund interviewed Erik Watts about some award the fans gave to him. They never explained what it was, so I can only assume they took a collection to pay the rest of his contract that he got chopped in half when his dad got fired. Anyway, whatever it was, someone stole it.
ERIK WATTS vs TONY ZANE
-I have NO memory of Erik Watts even being on television this late in 1994, let alone being pushed.
-Watts really had improved by this point, but he had this weird issue where it seemed like he had no idea he was six foot six inches tall and would freak out when he’d go for a move, try it too low and bonk himself in the face.
-Schiavone said Watts wasn’t actually accusing someone of stealing it and Watts would RETRACE HIS STEPS, GO BACK TO EVERY BUILDING WCW HAD DONE SHOWS IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS AND LOOK FOR IT. They seriously are doing a Michelle Tanner gimmick here.
-I would’ve punched Tony Zane right in the face if I were Erik Watts. Dude kept sandbagging him like a jerkwad.
-Watts goes over with the STF, which is a terrible babyface finisher the way he’d set it up (never going for it until the opponent jammed his own knee).
Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair (who didn’t wear the belt for some reason). They do a great job of hyping the Hogan interview (“I hope he doesn’t make the mistake I heard he made.”)
They’ve been showing the commercial for weeks, but now I’ve decided to share some screenshots from the INCREDIBLE WCW Wear commercial. This thing was ridic…
Tony Schiavone interviewed Colonel Rob Parker about how Steve Austin isn’t happy that he’s not in the title picture and how he personally paid the Great Muta to come to America to make sure everyone took notice of his man. He said he’s paid to also fly over three of Japan’s best wrestlers to fight Austin before Spring Stampede and that Steve’s debuting a new leglock on this episode.
“Stunning” STEVE AUSTIN vs “Firecat” THE JAPANESE WARRIOR

-It’s absolutely Brady Boone under the hood. He’s the only dude working in America in 1994 who was under 5’6 and wore kickpads. He started the match by doing four back handsprings for no reason.
-This isn’t NEARLY as awkward as when these two wrestled a couple of months prior. It’s mostly Austin tossing the much-smaller Boone around.
-Weird situation, in that the announcers are playing it up like Firecat is this dangerous challenger from the Orient, yet Austin and Boone are working this like any other enhancement match.
-Austin wins with the Hollywood & Vine, which starts like a slow-motion version of the Ranhei cradle (Kofi Kingston’s SOS), then ends up like this:
They had Okerlund do a random house show hype segment for the upcoming Caribbean loop they did before playing a replay of an angle from WCW Worldwide where they redid the angle from a few weeks ago where Simmons helped Harlem Heat beat Ron Simmons & 2 Cold Scorpio, only without Scorpio knocking himself out and messing up the finish.
MARCUS BAGWELL (w/Teddy Long) vs THE TERRORIST
-I think Scorpio had left by this point, since Bagwell came out to new music and they hyped that Bagwell would be wrestling Simmons next week, not Scorpio. The announcers are very much talking like Bagwell is a singles wrestler again.
-If I’m the Terrorist, I would call myself the American Dude Who Loves America or something so no one would suspect me.
-Terrorist is trying his darndest to not bump while selling for Bagwell.
-Bagwell wins with an awful fisherman suplex where he bumped like a regular suplex while bringing the Terrorist over, then bridged.
-TERRIBLE still photo to go to break on:
They replayed the Hogan interview from two weeks ago before going to a new Hogan interview. Ironically, Hogan, Brutus and Gene are wearing the EXACT same clothes as the last one.
Hogan threw in some weird Dusty Rhodes-style jive talk for no reason. Hogan says it drives him nuts that his son Nick doesn’t know if he can beat Ric Flair. They’re absolutely playing this up like Flair and Hogan had never wrestled before.
PRETTY WONDERFUL (“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff & Paul Roma) vs STING & “Flyin'” BRIAN PILLMAN

-And wrestling fans wonder why people think they’re dumb.
-Orndorff was fantastic enough to bump three times for Sting just winding up for punches.
-Pillman looked like he almost snapped Orndorff’s knees when he jumped too low on a springboard bodypress.
-Heenan just said “I would not be surprised if Hulk Hogan is at the Rosemont Horizon for Spring Stampede”. That is RIDICULOUS false-advertising.
-Sting goes over Roma with a top rope splash, but Orndorff BLASTS Sting in the head with a punt RIGHT as the third count comes down.
-After the match, Sting fights off another Pretty Wonderful double-team before Rick Rude runs in from the crowd and lays out Sting with a shoe. Oh, when wrestling was simple…
-Rude then cuts the 1991 Paul E. Dangerously promo about dismantling Sting, brick by brick.
With that, we’re done for another week. Austin/Firecat was notable for the new finisher and Buck/Zenk was a perfectly fine pro wrestling match. Otherwise, I’d only recommend this if you’re doing this like me and following the show in chronological order.
-TOM.  
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