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by on April 1, 2011


(Note: the voiceover guys REALLY did call Pretty Wonderful “refuted sissies”. I kid you not.) 

Nick Bockwinkel opens the show with Schiavone & Heenan, saying that not only did Ric Flair get his paperwork in to be cleared for Superbrawl the next night, but he commended him for getting it in six hours early.  Bockwinkel announces The Boss as the special referee. I think the original story was that they booked Shockmaster in his Super Shockmaster gimmick to referee the match, but Flair & Vader both ix-nayed it, so I’m guessing Boss was a compromise. 

NASTY BOYS (Jerry Saggs & Brian Knobbs, w/Missy Hyatt) vs MATT SHEPARD & SCOTT D’AMORE 


-Yep, that’s the same Scott D’Amore. He did jobs for every single wrestler to have a contract in America from 1994-1996, seemingly. Also, don’t expect Matthew Shepard jokes.
-I can see why he did; the dude takes a great beating. He’s making the Nasties look like the baddest dudes alive.
-I feel kind of lame that my haircut at this moment is the same one that D’Amore had in 1994.
-Saggs pinned Shepard with a BRUTAL-looking top rope elbow drop. Saggs used it often during TV matches and while it looked like dogcrap visually, it also looked like he broke his opponents’ clavicle by landing like a sack of crap. 


Pre-taped promo from Johnny B. Badd for the main event against Rick Rude this evening. Johnny B. Badd trying to sound tough while looking like Fran Drescher on HGH was fantastic. 


Speaking of dudes who needed  someone to dress them: Ric Flair looked SHOCKINGLY terrible. Like, look at that outfit. I feel like Joan Rivers and Ozzy Osbourne’s kid should be sitting on this couch with me. Flair’s promo was, luckily, far more exciting than his outfit. Ric Flair did an INCREDIBLE job, in under two minutes, of making me believe that a half-crippled 40-something could beat up the baddest man on the planet. 

And then Gene had the guts to say that the “action will keep on this pace” with Jungle Jim Steel. For real, dude? 



-Look at this man. He has body hair in the most bizarre places.
-They didn’t stay on the shot long enough to get a screencap, but two fans seriously jumped to their feet and high-fived when Steel did a dropkick.
-I wonder what these people were thinking about their investment when watching Jungle Jim: 


-I do seriously think this was the first taping that Ted Turner ever attended. I’m sure they were negotiating with Hogan at this point, so Turner had to be more involved in the group during that process.
-Steel wins with the Steel Trap. Mmmhmmm. 

Gene Okerlund goes over to interview Turner and Jane Fonda’s windbreaker. They said nothing of note, though <internet overanalysis mode> Gene TOTALLY praised rampant steroid abuse by proclaiming how he loves how much bigger the guys are getting </Cageside Seats>. 

-I wonder if one-half of Thunder & Lightning ever sued WCW for false advertising when they did Thundercage matches without him.
-They bizarrely false-advertised “the naughty” Missy Hyatt (Gene’s words), having taped the Control Centers and the insert promos after she left the company. This was WCW.
-Maxx Payne kind of sounded like Coach Bieste from Glee. 

World TV Title: THE PATRIOT vs LORD STEVEN REGAL (w/Sir William)
-Odd to see a dude get a title shot in his debut, especially considering that he doesn’t win (I assume, since Arn Anderson wrestled Regal for the belt at Superbrawl), but in kayfabe-ese, if you consider past histories, The Patriot totally earned one since he won every single belt in the GWF within three weeks of it being open, it seemed like.
-I understand about the Union Jack and such, but it’s always humorous to see the foreign heel wearing red, white and blue while the good guy’s wearing the same colors and trying to rile up the crowd with them.
-The Patriot isn’t wearing wrist tape and that drives me nuts. For some reason, guys who always wear tape not wearing it takes me out of a match since it comes off like he doesn’t take the match seriously.
-I’m loving this match. The story is that, since Patriot has gigantic biceps, he’s out-wrestling Regal with a consistant side headlock and, whenever Regal gets the advantage, he works on Patriot’s shoulders and neck so that it will hurt him to apply any arm-related holds.
-They do the usual TV Title time limit deal where at one minute, Patriot comes back to go for nearfalls.
-They end up going to a draw after Patriot mistimed the final nearfall and Regal had to kick out.
Promo with Col. Parker and “Stunning” Steve Austin. They bring out the MONGOLIAN MAULER, who will team with Austin next week in a tag match against Boss & Pillman… 

They then do the sledgehammer/block trick on Mauler’s gut. Parker did end up calling Ray Traylor “Bossman” at one point, which I’m sure made the WWF very happy. Seriously, Mauler was freaky-lookin’. 



-They really tried to pass off Triple H like his first name was TERROR and his last name had an apostrophe. I think Alex and I might name our first kid Terror Henry Gree’.
-It’s weird how similar Mr. Risin’s body was to its current middle-aged form. The wonders of modern technology.
-Risin’ wins with the inverted Indian Deathlock, which would’ve been a WAY cooler submission finisher than the sleeper he tried bringing back.
-It didn’t suck. You can tell he had never worked TV before (seemed nervous and ran through his moves quick, didn’t apply his finisher facing the cameras), but he didn’t embarrass himself. 



-The t-shirt did a WONDERFUL job of camoflauging that he was working in the office next door when they needed seat fillers.
-Erik Watts is wearing his finest El Gigante bootleg gear. 


-Erik Watts took a bump on a kitchen sink knee to the gut like Rob Van Dam takes DDT’s. It was kind of scary.
-Pretty Wonderful were EASILY the most over heel act at Center Stage during this time period.
-Weird spot to set up the double-down, where Roma got punched by Anderson, the impact of which sending Roma into Watts.
-Anderson got disqualified when he threw Orndorff over the top rope. 

Okerlund is with Harley Race and Vader. It’s a wonder how a super-heavyweight pro wrestler would influence hip-hop dance moves a decade and a half later. 

-Sonny Rogers might be best known by modern independent pro wrestling fans as the crazy old guy who wrestled Larry Sweeney at IWA Mid-South’s Simply the Best 6 show, in 2005. The dude did jobs for WCW and the WWF forever, though.
-Vader destroyed the poor man in short fashion. But, you can tell Vader at least kind of respected Sonny since he wasn’t NEARLY as big of a jerk as he was with most enhancement guys.
-Ricky Steamboat comes out to make the save, but he gets double-teamed by Race and Vader, so The Boss makes the save. It’s so weird that they shot an angle to set up Steamboat/Vader and Boss/Vader RIGHT before the Flair/Vader title match. 

-I know this was probably filmed out of order, but it just seemed weird that Steamboat came out before commercial, then had to come back out to make his entrance. Just stay in the ring, man.
-Steamboat wins almost as quickly as Vader with the flying crossbody.
-Confusingly enough, Steamboat after the match talked into the camera like they were setting up Steamboat/Flair, not Steamboat/Vader. 

Gene Okerlund gets his big Hotline plug while surrounded by models with awful haircuts. 




-Rip Rogers freshly-shaven with a rattail is just ridiculous.
-Boss BOOTS RIP’S DAMNED FACE OFF before the Bossman Slam for yet ANOTHER quick win.  It’s like two hours isn’t enough for these selfish men. 

Gene’s standing by with The Boss. Question: if there’s no rules in the Thunderdome, why do you need someone to enforce the law in the cage? 


Dustin Rhodes and Brian Pillman are out to cut a promo for Thundercage. Dustin is two for two on ridiculous tops two weeks in a row. It’s weird how wearing a ring jacket with regular pants makes the jacket looks that much dumber. 

WCW International World Title: “Ravishing” RICK RUDE vs JOHNNY B. BADD
-Rick Rude’s music from the Slam Jam album legitimately might be one of my favorite entrance songs EVER. It’s SO ridiculously “pro wrestling heel”.
-Rude has the Randy Savage Wrestlemania 5 elbow tape on. Something must’ve happened shortly before this taping.
-Just a hint: Johnny B. Badd buddied up to the planted models in the crowd before the show. That would POSSIBLY explain him being the only babyface on the show who they’ve gone nuts cheering for.
-Since the crowd thought he was black, the crowd chanted “WHOOP THERE IT IS!” at Badd. I poop you not.
-Weird flurry by Badd, in that after some HOT rapid-fire nearfalls, Badd chooses to go into a camel clutch that kills the heat.
-Heenan confuses himself and keeps almost calling Rude the “WWF Champion”.
-In another “Bobby Heenan needed to catch up with the product before they put him on TV” moment: Heenan keeps going on about Badd like he’s some new, up-and-coming rookie who’s nowhere near Rude’s level in the company.
-Old wrestling’s usually awesome, but I could absolutely do without the spot that most heels pre-1998 busted out where they’d jump up in the air and throw nothing behind their top rope move because they knew the opponent was throwing up the boot. Rude literally landed on his feet two feet away when Badd got the boot up in this match.
-Rude wins with the Rude Awakening. Rude made Badd look incredibly strong, but you got the feeling they wanted to save ninety percent of their stuff for the end, so after the nearfalls they planned at the beginning, they literally did nothing until the final five minutes.
-Schiavone: “This match had it all: action, excitement, a ton of cliches, and Rude wins!” I’m not sure if that was a burial or not.
We end the show with Harley Race and Vader with Gene again. Why? I don’t know, but I figure they wanted one of the pay-per-view main eventers to close the show, selling the match. By the way, after this promo, the “Bossman” count for this show was officially at three. 

Overall, not the strongest show. It’s weird because this was obviously all taped, yet you got the feeling they had the show drawn up the day of the taping, realized it wouldn’t all fit into two hours, and rushed the entire show. They could’ve cut half of the segments on the show and focused on the Superbrawl hard sell stuff, but they REALLY needed that Boss squash and all twenty-seven Gene Okerlund segments. 

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