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GLEEBLOG #3: 10 Awesome Quotes from Brittany S. Pierce

by on March 23, 2011

Nobody’s ever accused Brittany of being the brightest crayon in the box, but she does bring some of the funniest moments to Glee. Here’s a list of some of the funniest things ever said by everyone’s favorite dumb blonde (and believe me, there were a LOT to choose from!)

10.) And Diet Coke is a nutritionist…
“I don’t brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.” (“Britney/Brittany”)

9.) Apparently, dolphins will be endangered soon.
“Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?” (“Hell-O”)

8.) I wonder who she sees for back pain.
“When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.” (“The Power of Madonna”)

7.) Sounds like Brit needs a better hiding place.
“I’m pretty sure my cat’s been reading my diary.” (“Home”)

6.) She never planned on being on Wheel of Fortune anyway.
“Mr. Schue taught me taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I felt they were too similar and got frustrated.” (“The Substitute”)

5.) Hermione Granger, meet your new best friend.
“Can I be honest? I don’t understand the difference between an elf and a slave.” (“A Very Glee Christmas”)

4.) She won first place, too.
Mr. Schue: “Look, I’m not tossing the baby out with the bathwater here…”
Brittany: “I’ve totally done that.” (“Never Been Kissed”)

3.) Her heroes must be Mario and Luigi.
“People thought I went on vacation, but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.” (“Audition”)

2.) The girl’s a superfreak.
“Kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.” (“Laryngitis”)

1.) If all else fails, she could have a career as a sex ed teacher…
Mr. Schue: “Wait. Brittany, are you pregnant?”
Brittany: “Definitely. I am so sorry Artie. I didn’t want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when it dropped him off. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy.”
Puck: “Um, babies don’t get dropped off.”
Mr. Schue: “Wait. Brittany, have you been to a doctor yet? That’s the only way to be sure.”
Brittany: “I don’t need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I’m not stupid. It’s obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from.” (“Sexy”)


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