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(VIDEO) WWE Superstars 3/17/11 (w/ thoughts)

by on March 20, 2011

Credit to WWE’s Youtube page. This week’s matches:

-JTG vs. Tyler Reks
-Jimmy & Jey Uso vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Koslov
-Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Alicia Fox, & Melina vs. Eve Torres, Tamina, Natalya & Gail Kim

Thoughts below the cut…

JTG vs. Tyler Reks

-Dear Matt Striker, Jack Korpela looks NOTHING like Jon Cryer. K? Thanks.
-With all of the talk about these guys being in a “funk”, I was expecting Mr. Schuester to assign them some Bootsy Collins for this week’s assignment. (Side-note: Superstars is the only show where announcers seem to be allowed to acknowledge losses unless someone’s doing  a losing streak gimmick.)
-Tyler Reks might be JTG’s best opponent. For some reason, JTG cuts out a lot of his cutesy bullhockey and gets really intense when he wrestles Reks, which makes for much more entertaining matches.
-Matt Striker was very Mauro Ranallo-esque when answering if Reks’ mystique had been broken. He sounded like the Strikeforce commentators trying to rebuild Fedor’s invincibility shield after the Werdum loss.
-No one should be allowed to do shoulderblocks on Superstars as long as Chris Masters is employed. He makes all others look ugly.-Tyler Reks has a way too safe-looking Burning Hammer and he’s rough around the edges, but the guy’s improved way more than anyone would have any reason to believe when the surfer dude debuted on ECW. That being said, the Smackdown half of Superstars is usually so good that even a solid match like this is a disappointment compared to most weeks with Masters, Barreta, Hawkins, and so on.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Koslov vs The Usos

-The Santino/little kid birthday celebration in the aisle was kind of adorable.
-For the second match in a row, they acknowledge someone’s loss (Koslov to Zack Ryder last week). Fortunately for Ryder, he got on Raw this past week, but unfortunately for Superstars fans, it meant no DZP.
-In a healthier economy where Japanese wrestling was more vibrant, I could be hopeful that, when the Usos are probably released post-Wrestlemania, they’d be one of those teams who gets booked for a Japanese tour, people kind of groan, but they become a fantastic, hyped team within a couple of months. As is, we’ll have matches like this to look fondly back on and wonder why they only end up doing random tours of Spain, which is a shame. They’ve turned into a great little TV match-style tag team.
-I understand Koslov got started old and he’s built oddly, but how the heck do you work regularly on the WWE schedule (most of which, he spent working singles matches with guys like HHH, Finlay, William Regal, etc.) and stay as awful as he is?
-The Uso who took the backdrop on the floor is a BRAVE FELLOW. That was a man-sized bump.
-Santino has to be one of the most improved wrestlers in WWE. He’s not fantastic, but he’s perfect at his role and his mechanics have improved tenfold.

The Bella Twins, Alicia Fox, & Melina vs. Gail Kim, Eve Torres, Natalya & Tamina

-Scott Stanford is my hero. Claiming he entices the Divas with cake was such a stupid line that it was charming.
-I think Eve has Bobby Lashley’s old Titantron (look closely when she comes out).
-Scott Stanford’s usually way more knowledgable than you’d think if you’d never heard him, but he’s extra-ridiculous tonight. Josh asked him how he knew which Bella was in the ring and he replied, “That’s her”. Love and rockets.
-Gail Kim is supposedly an unheralded great wrestler according to most people because of the Awesome Kong series in TNA and doing random Yoshino holds in 2003…yet she can’t run the ropes?
-I seriously thought Natalya was going to pull rear mount when the Bella no-sold her bodyslam.
-Melina’s running kick/split to the jaw might be the most ridiculously well-done move a female has done on WWE TV in a LONG time.
-JEEEEEEEZ. Judging by the chinlock reversal, Melina owes Natalya money.-
The insanely low moonsaults that Lita brought to WWE and Eve has “perfected” (if you’d use that term) makes me think that large, fake breasts cause you to do gymnastics like a Weeble-Wobble.
-Much better-than-usual Divas match (mostly because there were eight girls to tag in and out, plus they got more than two minutes), but it absolutely wasn’t without its insanely scary moments where you think someone will die on the screen in front of you.

Slightly disappointing episode this week, but it’s still 40+ minutes of actual in-ring wrestling and none of it was worse than average. We’ll be doing MUCH more Superstars memorial stuff on the blog in the weeks to come, in addition to the weekly Superstars real-time thoughts, but until then…

-TOM.

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From → Features, VIDEO, WWE

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